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DAILY MANIFESTO

Plug-Bot-5000: On the Road and Despicable Me Winners

Posted on Wednesday, December 22 @ 15:30:00 Eastern by Plug-Bot-5000
I already know none of you care about a robot's personal life, but you'll have to read through this cold-steel-heart-warming anecdote to find out if you've won a copy of Despicable Me.

If I could find an evil laugh as infectious as Steve Carrell's on my hard disk, I would be playing it right now.

Regardless of your selected integral of caring, I have left the Game Revolution offices. Ever since De-Ting started shooting farts into our windows on a daily basis, my processor has been a little sluggish.

I determined that my new wing-component-attachments needed to be spread. Lien's absurd fandom of my physical body also made leaving town a priority.

The same thing goes for USAGlory. Bot-napping is serious issue where I come from (the Bot Planet). You community members are defective and I couldn't believe you'd leave me in a place like Sunnyside Daycare.

I also had to leave because of Nether's thirst for technology. Eating a Bluray disc is a fraction of an inch's distance from gnawing on a robot leg after soaking it in your human "barbeecue" sauce.

Finally, the_mighty_toast found the office and raspberry jam has been seeping under the doors ever since.

Needless to say, the place was as messy as a $3 motherboard. I had to leave.

Luckily, before I was put in storage, I managed to install a wireless receiver. You have not seen the last of Plug-Bot-5000.

If you figured out whether you won or not by reading this post (I made it easy, I know how slow and inefficient your human brain's are), please send your mailing address via PM to Blake_Morse. Respond quickly before it gets buried under all the penis-enhancing, hair-growth-formula, nigerian-prince spam I've inundated his mailbox with.

Psshh, the human penis. Noting compared to robot genitalia.... especially with a can of WD-40.


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