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FEATURED VOXPOP oneshotstop
Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...

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Plug-Bot-5000: On the Road and Despicable Me Winners

Posted on Wednesday, December 22 @ 15:30:00 PST by Plug-Bot-5000
I already know none of you care about a robot's personal life, but you'll have to read through this cold-steel-heart-warming anecdote to find out if you've won a copy of Despicable Me.

If I could find an evil laugh as infectious as Steve Carrell's on my hard disk, I would be playing it right now.

Regardless of your selected integral of caring, I have left the Game Revolution offices. Ever since De-Ting started shooting farts into our windows on a daily basis, my processor has been a little sluggish.

I determined that my new wing-component-attachments needed to be spread. Lien's absurd fandom of my physical body also made leaving town a priority.

The same thing goes for USAGlory. Bot-napping is serious issue where I come from (the Bot Planet). You community members are defective and I couldn't believe you'd leave me in a place like Sunnyside Daycare.

I also had to leave because of Nether's thirst for technology. Eating a Bluray disc is a fraction of an inch's distance from gnawing on a robot leg after soaking it in your human "barbeecue" sauce.

Finally, the_mighty_toast found the office and raspberry jam has been seeping under the doors ever since.

Needless to say, the place was as messy as a $3 motherboard. I had to leave.

Luckily, before I was put in storage, I managed to install a wireless receiver. You have not seen the last of Plug-Bot-5000.

If you figured out whether you won or not by reading this post (I made it easy, I know how slow and inefficient your human brain's are), please send your mailing address via PM to Blake_Morse. Respond quickly before it gets buried under all the penis-enhancing, hair-growth-formula, nigerian-prince spam I've inundated his mailbox with.

Psshh, the human penis. Noting compared to robot genitalia.... especially with a can of WD-40.




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