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DAILY MANIFESTO

Replica Dragon Age: Origins Weapons Cement Your Nerdom

Posted on Friday, December 3 @ 15:23:37 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

When they told me I'd be able to I'd be writing about replica swords today, I let them know what I thought they were full of.

But here I am, telling you, dear readers, about hunks of metal shaped to look like the weapons you've used in a Bioware video game and only dreamt of adding to your already stellar Dragon Age costume-play outfit. Don't let my disbelief sway your hard-earned, hard-core nerd dollars though. I'm sure EpicWeapons.com will happily accept all four Benjamin Franklins you've had stored away in a safety-deposit box for this occasion.

Yes, the Grey Warden Sword or the Darkspawn Greatsword can be yours for only $400.00 (plus tax, plus shipping, plus handling, plus your pride). I suspect you'll never be able to escape the amount of mail-order catalogues they'll be sending your way once your transaction has been completed.

Granted, ordering NOW (like, right now) will snare you a small discount just because they know all the LARPers out there need a little incentive to buy early when the cardboard cut-out gear they've been using has worked so well.

They also have letter openers modeled after these two pieces of fictitious weaponry.

My disdain for this product is only matched by the pride I feel when I know that I have a neon Nintendo sign in my apartment at home. Don't hate me, I'm a dweeb too.

I knew a guy in high school who owned a replica sword. I took one look at it and knew it wasn't for me. A little plush Super Mario mushroom on the other hand.... I just had to have that.