Sex Sells...But Who's Buying?

Not so fast. This is where the second half of the convention's title, the half you didn't read, comes into play: Exploring the Business of Digital Erotic Entertainment. I know, this second half sounds kinda hot, too, thanks to the words "Exploring," "Digital," "Erotic" and "Entertainment." Hell, in such tantalizing company even the word "Business" sounds kinda kinky.

But trust me, it's not. The focus of this convention isn't funny business, it's business business. Because as you were probably trying to forget for the sake of being excited about this event, there is no sex in video games. Just look at the list of panels:

Creating Mainstream Erotic Games
Integrating International Success to the US Market
Emergent Sex in Video Games and Video Game Hardware
Creating Successful Online Erotic Games
Investing in Sexually-Themed Games
Alternative Distribution Methods for AO Games
MMOEG Panel

I have a dirty mind - and I bet you do, too - but I can't find anything remotely hot about any of these. Instead, I would have liked to see a list like this:

Let's Clit It! Or How to Find the PSP's Thumb Nub
Busting A Combo: Erotic Co-op Gaming
The New Beauty of Button Mashing
When Is a Joystick More Than a Joystick?
Donkey-Punches: An Ethical Quandary

Such topics would put the sex back in a Sex in Video Games discussion, but that's not the point. What's really at work here is an attempt by porn and video game executives to figure out how to sell their wares to each others' clienteles (who in all likelihood are the same people) without getting cock-blocked by Wal-Mart and Family Values groups.

But you don't have to take my word for it. In terms that make "five dollar sucky-sucky" seem passionate, Suzanne Freyjadis-Chuberka, President of Evergreen Events (the company hosting the convention) and owner of the un-sexiest last name ever, explains:

"...this conference will help to facilitate conversations that will enable both the game industry as well as the adult entertainment industry to develop a more mature perspective on Adults Only games as well as ways to grow that segment of the industry."

By "a more mature perspective on Adults Only games," I believe she means thinking of them less as fun, kinky pleasures, and more as something that can be sold for a ton of cash. And that, by the way, is the dirtiest idea in here.