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REVIEWS D4 Review
Just another game about a time-traveling detective who deflects knives by spitting bubblegum at them as they fly through the air at full speed. Yep, just another game...

Persona 4 Arena Ultimax Review
Ultimax comes the closest to realizing my dream of an actual fighting RPG.
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PREVIEWS Sunset Overdrive Preview
Microsoft and Insomniac Games have created a new open-world shooter with clear influences from Jet Grind Radio. We went hands-on with the first hour of the game.
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Release date: Out Now

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Release date: 10/07/14

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FEATURED VOXPOP ryanbates
Respawning
By ryanbates
Posted on 09/25/14
I had planned to write something about the Borderlands series, but that will have to wait. I have something I need to get off my chest first. It's very personal, and I hope the two or three of you who follow my sparse blog will spare me this moment. I joked in my review for the bizarre...

DAILY MANIFESTO

Shortest...Resolution...Ever.

Posted on Friday, January 6 @ 16:18:28 Eastern by Ben_Silverman
And just like that, the Toilet Boll flushes again.

I'm of course referring to director/sworn enemy of taste Uwe Boll's latest turd, his film adaptation of the cheesy vampire video game Bloodrayne, which came out today despite the fact that no one but the crew's family members (and GR's own Joe Dodson) will see it. Not only does this shameful waste of perfectly good film reel kick the video game industry in its nuts by focusing on tits instead of talent, but disproves the existence of God since gamers everywhere have been praying it wouldn't see the light of day.

Why so bitter? Because last week, I made a resolution to stop hating on Uwe Boll and start embracing his bizarre, misguided love of turning games into films because...I don't know, because it seemed like a good challenge. Yeah, I was drunk and high on glue, but still, it was a resolution, and if Oprah takes those things seriously, so should I.

Except after sobering up a little, I realized that the usually not-terrible Ben Kingsley is in the film, and I love Ben Kingsley. For crying out loud, the dude is a knight. But apparently even knights are hard up for cash these days and Uwe's got an infinite line of credit at the German Bank of Bad F*cking Ideas. Yeah, that's right - in my heart, Uwe killed Gandhi.

So thanks, Toilet Boll, for helping me set the record for the shortest New Year's video game resolution since the time I tried to quit making fun of Nintendo fanboys. That one only lasted an hour.



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