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FEATURED VOXPOP oneshotstop
Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...

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Something Awful Explores The Diary Of A GTA Call Girl

Posted on Thursday, February 7 @ 23:00:00 PST by

The digital hookers that litter certain, less-than-savory areas in the Grand Theft Auto series have lives too you know. It's not up to them to get in the car and pray for their lives everytime you take them on the bridge to Algonquin.

Seriously though, Something Awful delivers something wonderful in this diary of sorts detailing the heroic exploits of Liberty City's ladies of the night:
October 20th

Had a weird one tonight. I was walking back and forth on the sidewalk, bumping into people and struggling to get up a curb, when I hear this explosion from a block over. Total mayhem ensues. This guy is driving over people, everybody is screaming, and the cops are chasing him all over. It's like what happened a couple weeks ago on the news. The guy is throwing grenades, shooting machine guns, it's insane. Well then he gets into a red minivan and drives into a Pay 'n' Spray and he totally fucking disappears. Like poof! Just gone. The cops are all scratching their heads, nobody knows what's up. This guy in a blue minivan pulls up and wants to party so I get in and I'm like, "Hey, you will not believe what just happened."

I lost interest in the hookers of Grand Theft Auto after the first time I saw it, but I know a lot of GTA fans are little 14-year-old losers so I can only imagine the number of stories like this out there. Which one of you pulled up in that blue minivan?
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