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DAILY MANIFESTO

Something Awful Explores The Diary Of A GTA Call Girl

Posted on Thursday, February 7 @ 23:00:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

The digital hookers that litter certain, less-than-savory areas in the Grand Theft Auto series have lives too you know. It's not up to them to get in the car and pray for their lives everytime you take them on the bridge to Algonquin.

Seriously though, Something Awful delivers something wonderful in this diary of sorts detailing the heroic exploits of Liberty City's ladies of the night:

October 20th

Had a weird one tonight. I was walking back and forth on the sidewalk, bumping into people and struggling to get up a curb, when I hear this explosion from a block over. Total mayhem ensues. This guy is driving over people, everybody is screaming, and the cops are chasing him all over. It's like what happened a couple weeks ago on the news. The guy is throwing grenades, shooting machine guns, it's insane. Well then he gets into a red minivan and drives into a Pay 'n' Spray and he totally fucking disappears. Like poof! Just gone. The cops are all scratching their heads, nobody knows what's up. This guy in a blue minivan pulls up and wants to party so I get in and I'm like, "Hey, you will not believe what just happened."

I lost interest in the hookers of Grand Theft Auto after the first time I saw it, but I know a lot of GTA fans are little 14-year-old losers so I can only imagine the number of stories like this out there. Which one of you pulled up in that blue minivan?

Tags: Grand Theft Auto

Comments

ballabert
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 5:23 am
I was hoping she would explain her 6th finger...

0 5

moretokes
Joined: Apr 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 6:52 am
I was hoping she would explain what she would do with said finger

0 4

ballabert
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 8:08 am
guess i walked into that one hahaha

0 3

elmoreoocyte
Joined: Apr 2012

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 7:35 am
"A guy covered in blood and barely conscious said if he didn't get a BJ he was going to die. Sure, why not?"

I call that, "Wednesday afternoon."

0 2

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 10:29 am
You give BJ's on Wednesday afternoons?

0 2

elmoreoocyte
Joined: Apr 2012

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:33 am
You're pickin up what I'm puttin down, Tiny.

0 3

UghRochester
Joined: Jun 2006

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 7:37 am
You know what's awful? Anthony being stuck in that blizzard.

0 3

OdiousLupous
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 9:11 am
The rare times a GTA hooker lives to write down in her diary.

0 2

tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Feb 8th, 2013 at 10:36 am
Never played a GTA title before, so I'm looking forward to acting like one of the "... little 14-year-old losers..."

0 1

DonRafael
Joined: Mar 2012

Posted: Feb 11th, 2013 at 5:07 pm
That's 25-year-old loser for ya, chump!

0 0

newnasry
Joined: Mar 2013

Posted: Mar 25th, 2013 at 10:39 am
how can i download this game

0 0