Tell GR: How Could Michael Bay Destroy The Ninja Turtles Even More?
Posted on Tuesday, March 20 @ 17:00:00 PST by Daniel Bischoff
I grew up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Hero Turtles, whatever). They remain some of my favorite pieces of pop culture, even as they drift into obscurity and I put on more and more rose-colored glasses. I even have a copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze signed by Ernie Reyes Jr. (Keno from the movie).
So... when I got on the internet today and heard from people in the chat that there would be a new live-action Ninja Turtles movie, I went through a wide range of emotions.
First I saw "bay" at the end of the URL. I knew instantly that hate was brewing in my soul. Then I saw the following:
Fuck you Michael Bay. They are your average, ordinary turtles, mutated by radioactive ooze and trained BY A FUCKING SEWER RAT NAMED SPLINTER WHO WAS ALSO MUTATED.
I swear to God, I'll murder you if Splinter doesn't learn all of his karate from a man named Hamato Yoshi. What's that? Oh, Michael Bay has responded to my pure, burning hate and desire to murder him:
... As badly as I want to see a new Ninja Turtles movie... in live-action, this seems 10x worse that the Venus De Milo days.
How could Michael Bay make this new TMNT movie even worse?
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
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