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Tell GR: How Could Michael Bay Destroy The Ninja Turtles Even More?

Posted on Tuesday, March 20 @ 17:00:00 Eastern by Daniel Bischoff

I grew up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Hero Turtles, whatever). They remain some of my favorite pieces of pop culture, even as they drift into obscurity and I put on more and more rose-colored glasses. I even have a copy of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze signed by Ernie Reyes Jr. (Keno from the movie).

So... when I got on the internet today and heard from people in the chat that there would be a new live-action Ninja Turtles movie, I went through a wide range of emotions.

First I saw "bay" at the end of the URL. I knew instantly that hate was brewing in my soul. Then I saw the following:

"When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie,” said Bay as he took the stage to discuss his new vision for the reptilian reboot. “These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable."

Fuck you Michael Bay. They are your average, ordinary turtles, mutated by radioactive ooze and trained BY A FUCKING SEWER RAT NAMED SPLINTER WHO WAS ALSO MUTATED.

I swear to God, I'll murder you if Splinter doesn't learn all of his karate from a man named Hamato Yoshi. What's that? Oh, Michael Bay has responded to my pure, burning hate and desire to murder him:

Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.

... As badly as I want to see a new Ninja Turtles movie... in live-action, this seems 10x worse that the Venus De Milo days.

How could Michael Bay make this new TMNT movie even worse?

Related Games: TMNT

Tags: Tell GameRevolution, Community

Comments

Masterwabbit
Joined: Mar 2009

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 5:05 pm
"How could Michael Bay make this new TMNT movie even worse?"

Um... by being Michael Bay?

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ReinhardtBII
Joined: Oct 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 5:24 pm
By being Uwe Boll

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Falx
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 5:37 pm
By arming the turtles with guns and missles.

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sliverstorm
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Change the colors.

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daverabbit
Joined: Oct 2008

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
By transporting them through time.

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cheesegod99
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 6:37 pm
April O'Neal played by Megan Fox, Casey Jones played by Shia LaBeouf.

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cheesegod99
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 6:37 pm
April O'Neal played by Megan Fox, Casey Jones played by Shia LaBeouf.

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thedarkstar
Joined: Feb 2011

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 6:59 pm
By having the sewers explode.

I am glad a lot of people are on my side on this. Michael Bay is slowly ruining my childhood and he needs to go die in a fire. All that stuff about working with the original creators is BS I bet just to calm us down. Since there are only two original creators, he could have mentioned who, but i bet he doesn't even know their names.

Daniel, question for the next GR Radio. What do all of the other admins on GR think about this?

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warmaster670
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Cant be any worse than the horrible 80s cartoon.

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warmaster670
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 8:02 pm
or the 2 horrible live action movie sequals we already got.

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freek187
Joined: Feb 2012

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Ninja ninja rap remix done by lmfao. AHH!!!!!!!!!!

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drathbone
Joined: May 2011

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 8:36 pm
By making it as "good" as the Transformers movies.

The last CGI movie was kickass btw I think it was simply called TMNT

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warmaster670
Joined: Jun 2007

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 12:01 am
Transformers 1 and 3 are lightyears ahead of the show

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thedarkstar
Joined: Feb 2011

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 6:02 pm
1, maybe. The last hour or so of 3 was complete garbage. A ton of bots on screen, most of them not named or given any characterization, and the final battle (s) Optimus was in were like 3 seconds each. It's like the bots were there for filler, and it was really an army movie. No thank you.

From now on if I want really good Transformer action I will rewatch Beast Wars or Transformers Prime.

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Bras
Joined: Jul 2008

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 8:54 pm
By changing their names to: Justin, Wayne, Drake and Gaga.

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TurinAlexander
Joined: Sep 2006

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 9:01 pm
...and the rape of my childhood continue on schedule.

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Noritama
Joined: Feb 2012

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Sorry Daniel next time I got childhood raping news ill bring it lightly .

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OdiousLupous
Joined: Jul 2011

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Michael Bay vs Uwe Boll in a duel to the death, winner take all.

(we're actually going to kill the winner too, I mean, might as well.)

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MasterRabbi
Joined: May 2007

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 7:56 am
Whoever wins, we still loose.

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tinymhg
Joined: Jun 2011

Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Michael Bay is a money maker, and as long as he makes money he can do as he pleases. Got anything else you hold dear? Bay wants to make some money off of it.

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Lok-Nar
Joined: Feb 2012

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 4:49 am
By calling it: "TMNT The Rise of Shredder"

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UghRochester
Joined: Jun 2006

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 5:30 am
That sounds familiar *looks at Transformer film*

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MasterRabbi
Joined: May 2007

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 5:35 am
"They have not read the script." - much like Transformers, no one has since it doesn't exist. It's a moment by moment thing

"...everything that made you become fans in the first place." - because he's the authority on millions of childhoods. Only he KNOWS why you became fans. Who's that in the window?

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NecroWolf
Joined: Oct 2005

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 10:14 am
This angers me. HULK SMASH! Nah, in all seriousness, it pisses me off a lot, but there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. Michael Bay doesn't listen to people, he doesn't care, and he won't change the script. The only thing good to come out of Michael Bay was Armageddon, which while not a fantastic film, it was a fun ride with some amusing dialogue. Plus, Steve Buschemi.

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Bras
Joined: Jul 2008

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Do it please.

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TurinAlexander
Joined: Sep 2006

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Doooo eeeeeeeet!

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danielrbischoff
Joined: Nov 2009

Posted: Mar 21st, 2012 at 4:25 pm
I did it.

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