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FEATURED VOXPOP nick_olsen
Welcome home, Mario; we’ve missed you!
By nick_olsen
Posted on 05/13/13
[ Editor's Note: As Nick Olsen is a writer for Theory of Gaming, this won't be counted in the monthly Vox Pop prize. However, it is very much a worthy read. ] By Nick Olsen Co-founder, Theory of Gaming In 1985 Nintendo started a revolution when it...

Home Manifesto The Real Reason Behind 3DS Sales Surge

DAILY MANIFESTO

The Real Reason Behind 3DS Sales Surge

Posted on Monday, November 14 @ 00:22:08 Eastern by Heath_Hindman
Yes, this is basically cheating

Nintendo has had plenty of system sales to smile about lately, as the 3DS has been atop the charts for a while, especially in Japan. But one need not delve too deeply into the real cause. No, it's not the arrival of Mario or the August price drop; it's the above-pictured free handout that can be found by the stack at almost any game shop.

Oh, oh, nice work, Nintendo. Sure, dropping the price is all fair, but then you go and fire Link in favor of a cute Japanese girl with a shield and sword? Aw come on, who's not going to be thinking about the 3DS now? Oh, you rascals, Nintendo.

Not that I think 3DS is bad or anything. No, in fact I...I think it's a...pretty system. Yes, so very pretty that I'd...I'd like to hold one right now. Have it keep me company on lonely nights, take my mind off work and other stresses while I handle its delicate curves. I want to laugh with the 3DS, cry with the 3DS, call her old boyfriend a jerk and tell her I love her and prepare to act like it was a joke if she laughs and calls me "so funny" that one summer we spent in the mountains when I was in college....
Tags:   3DS


Comments
  • tinymhg
    tinymhg
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 7:45 am
    Dude seek professional help right now.
    0 0
  • 213EDD
    213EDD
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 8:03 am
    He's in Japan. It balances itself out.
    0 0
  • OdiousLupous
    OdiousLupous
    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 12:26 pm
    Would Navi there give you instructions during lovemaking? Float over various erogenous zones yelling "Hey, listen!"
    0 3
  • Italion193
    Italion193
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 2:31 pm
    I wish I could nominate double H to TPS this article was probably the single best thing I have seen today.
    0 1
  • Bras
    Bras
    Joined: Jul 2008
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
    Link is officially retired T_T
    0 0
  • Paulmichael
    Paulmichael
    Joined: Oct 2010
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
    Oh, man, that is not what I'd call a cute Asian...
    0 0
  • Heath_Hindman
    Heath_Hindman
    Joined: May 2011
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
    You can say those kinds of things about my PSP but NOT ABOUT MY 3DS!!!!!!
    0 0
  • 213EDD
    213EDD
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posted: Nov 12th, 2011 at 7:21 pm
    If i'm not mistaken FFXIII-2 is doing a asian woman costume dress up depending on the amount of the likes on their test play site. I liked that page :)
    0 0
  • KevinS
    KevinS
    Joined: Dec 2008
    Posted: Nov 13th, 2011 at 6:27 pm
    Link is still cuter. Just sayin'.
    0 0

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