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The Top **** Lists

Posted on Tuesday, November 18 @ 20:42:11 PST by
If you ever want to know where gaming journalism is in the grand scheme of things, it's a tabloid, a blabbering foam-at-the-mouth donkey that just can't get enough rabies. In other words, just go to the gaming section of Digg. As of this post, here is every list-ridden article on the first five pages of Digg in the order of the most recent; or should I say, "Literally, The Top 19 Top **** Lists on Digg":

1) "The Six Most Soul-Sucking Video Games"
2) "30 Rare & Expensive Gamecube Games"
3) "The Top 7 Outrageously Camp Bad Guys in Video Games"
4) "The Top 7 Game bad guys you didn't want to kill"
5) "The Top 10 Most Blood-Soaked Video Game Weapons"
6) "The Top 10 Most Annoying Video Game Characters"
7) "Top 10 Video Game Cliches"
8) "8 Awful Videogame Renditions of Popular Songs"
9) "13 'Lich King' Tips for 'World of Warcraft' Newcomers"
10) "12 reasons PC gaming is better than consoles"
11) "101 game facts that will rock your world"
12) "The Top 12 Gadgets For PlayStation Owners"
13) "The 10 Best Video Game Endings"
14) "Top 5 Video Game Themed Beverages"
15) "13 Best Old School Video Games"
16) "The Top 10 Video Game Vixens"
17) "The Top 7 Worst Release Dates Ever for Video Games"
18) "10  of the Greatest Phrases to Ever Come Out of a Video Game"
19) "Twelve Video Game Animals You'd Want as Pets"

Do you see my peeve yet? Nearly half of this list has already been done and another half all of them don't even matter. Pets? Pop-Renditions? Themed Beverages? Why not just make the "Top 23 Uses for Bload-Soaked Bathrooms in a Video Game"? Or better yet, "The Top 10 Worst Top 10 List in The Top 100"? And why the hell is it the Top 7? Why not the Top 11, or some other number that isn't 10, just to be intriguing and fanciful?

Digg lists are crack, just like reality TV. Some people think they actually matter, but they don't. Yet they can't get enough. But the problem isn't really with Digg; it's that some readers like dumb lists - more than actual news - and have a kneejerk reaction to click on the mouse on the Digg icon whenever they read one. 

And so certain game sites have seemingly run out of enthusiasm or have forgotten what matters (wait, no, that's daily and unique hits). Yes, I will admit that I've put some lists on our podcast. And GR's own manifestos sometimes stumble into La La Lazy Land, but that's because we drink a lot at work, and at least our readers blame us for our laziness.

Conclusion: Many people are whores for lists and many game sites are whores for Digg; therefore, many game sites create many lists for many whores who like Digg. (I think that came out wrong.) Come on, just admit it. I know you people are out there and you're probably reading this article. And in that case, please, please, do us a favor:

Please Digg me.


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