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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437     In all the talk of graphical downgrades no one seems much preoccupied with 'why?'.  Why build something and then proceed to tear it down, piece by piece, in the hope that ever more diminished expectations about the final product won't be severe enough to...

DAILY MANIFESTO

Twas The Night Before Console Christmas

Posted on Tuesday, December 24 @ 14:00:00 Eastern by
We hope you all have a safe and happy Holiday season. GameRevolution is about to hit autopilot in 3... 2... 1.


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a gamer was clicking his 4600dpi mouse.
The chords were twist-tied and arranged with care,
In hopes that Santa would install a new console there.

The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions ran at high resolutions in their heads.
All the frames would run steady and capped,
And games downloaded while they Christmas napped.

When out in the living room there was a loud ass noise,
The gamers sprang from their beds to see their new toys.
Static roared as light flashed
To their TV room the gamers dashed.

There stood Saint Nick locked in mid throw
as pure gamer horror struck them like a blow.
When, what to their wondering eyes appeared,
but a Wii controller attached to a reindeer.

With a little courage the smallest gamer said quick
"You're supposed to wear the wrist strap, Saint Nick!"
The bigger gamer fell and to his face his palm came,
He shook and shouted, and called Santa by a strange name.

"Now Billy and Sally, we heard you wanted Wii U," said Vixen
"Now hold on a second there," interrupted big Blitzen,
"To the sled we'll go, to replace this TV that fell off the wall
"We'll fix it, we'll act quick, before the tots begin to bawl."

As teary eyes blinked weary and dried
the reindeer galloped fast to the sleigh just outside
Santa picked the TV up and pulled the Wiimote out too
Then to his sleigh Donner and Prancer flew.

Santa laughed hearty and looked to the roof
As prancing and pawing turned to present shuffling by hoof.
As the gamers rose and reindeer came round,
Boxes and boxes of hardware greatness were found.

Xboxes and PlayStations and games on disc too
Wii U and 3DS and Vita came through.
The entertainment center would be filled front to back
Consoles new and old would remain neat in a stack.

Santa's eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His white gloved hand extended out just like so
And his white gloved thumb flew up like blustering snow.

The gamers all grinned wide with teeth
For even extra controllers fell from their wreath.
Santa's broad face beamed and silently nodded
Billy and Sally gasped and quietly prodded.

"Please Santa, won't you stay and enjoy yourself?"
Then Santa laughed and bounded out to the call of an elf.
The gamers were left in his wake dazed with dread.
Did they see what they saw or were they just dreaming in bed?

They spoke not a word and went straight back to sleep,
The living room was clean and reindeer had even learned to sweep.
Under cover and on pillow Billy and Sally's eyes soon closed,
The whole Christmas scene seemed just as proposed.

When morning comes Billy and Sally will scream and shout
It doesn't matter if the big television console isn't filled out
Just one new toy would do and there'd be no fight.
PC, console, or handheld, let's play games all Christmas night.
Tags:   culture
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