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FEATURED VOXPOP oneshotstop
Welcome Back to the West
By oneshotstop
Posted on 08/01/16
The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...

DAILY MANIFESTO

Wii Fit Fall ==> Sex Addict?

Posted on Thursday, April 15 @ 17:27:49 PST by
And falling from a Tony Hawk Ride skateboard makes you celibate.

24-year-old catering worker "Randy" Amanda Flowers claims, in the British The Daily Star (read: it's a tabloid), that she is now a sex addict due to falling off a Wii Fit balance board. A doctor calls it "persistent sexual arousal syndrome". Amanda calls it "ten sex sessions a day". I call it "being way too horny".

"It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body," Ms. Flowers exclaims. "Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm." Anything that vibrates - mobile phones, food processors, message chairs, lawnmowers, Xbox 360 controllers, naked dogs in winter - apparently turns her on.

"With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."

Now to be fair, the doctor does say that her disorder comes from a damaged nerve... or a whole bunch of them.

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