Nick_Tan gave Watch Dogs a 4.5 out of 5. He also got the game for free.
Here's a short review that you can trust. From your friendly, neighborhood Optimus-Crime
The term "Oh my God, this is the grandest launch failure I have ever seen, and I was there for the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster" is thrown around a lot these days.
Okay, no it's not. That's a horrible term, in every sense of the word.
But if it were thrown around a lot these days
, it would be, and deservedly should be, used in this case because Watch Dogs is the biggest flop of a new IP since Bubsy the Bobcat from the 16-bit era.
Bubsy, that witty (read: annoying) bobcat who dared to take on Mario and Sonic during the height of the "mascot wars" was warmly received by game journalists during its launch. 100 years later, the word "Bubsy" is now, and I quote,
"...Infamous for its undocumented, unilateral equalistic take on scat software, aka shitware."
It's worth noting that nothing in that sentence makes sense. It's not even a quote.
I completely made it up. But I'm willing, in my very first review to put into question my own journalistic integrity, because Bubsy was just that bad.
And that should tell you how passionate I am about a bad game. Game studios can no longer afford to put out a shitty game like they could during the 16-bit era. Finding a truly bad game in 2014 is like finding the AIDS needle in the gaystack. Again, oof, my credibility tree. - 1000 critical hit.
I'LL TAKE THAT DAMAGE. Because good games are a dime a dozen, except not really, they're $59.96 for a single copy. Unless you're getting your games for free.
Do not pay $59.96 to play Watch Dogs.
Do not pay $9.96 to play Watch Dogs.
Go to that new dog park (Scentral Park) and pay $0.96 for the simple pleasure of watching dogs play but DO NOT PAY $0.06 to play Watch Dogs.
Bubsy got a sequel.
A few of them.
Every one worst
than the original. I've traveled back in time to warn you.
If Watch Dogs wins. We all lose. Wait for a better game, please, or 20 years from now children will question your
video game buying habits online.
Send Nick_Tan hate mail here: http://www.gamerevolution.com/forum/privmsg.php?mode=post&u=12940
4.5 out of 5? How dare you, sir.