Lumines II Member Review for the PSP

T*tris clones have been around since the dawn of time (yes, the 1980s).  From Blocks from Hell to Hatris, it takes a lot to take an old washed up game and turn in into something new.  You have to take advantage of everything at your disposal; all of the new graphics, everything in  pop-culture needs to be used.  Oops, I mean everything except Gwen Stefani!  Aw, damn it.

The original Lumines did all of these things.  It took Tetris and made it amazing again.  Ignoring the seizure-inducing lights and sounds is almost impossible; the game can quickly become a confusing mass of sounds, squares, circles, flashing backgrounds, obnoxious singing, and a quick death for those unfortunate enough to be plagued with epilepsy.  Every four levels, the player recieves a new "skin" or theme, in case he/she would like to focus on a specifically confusing level, they can go back to it.  This isn't just Tetris, its a test of how much your eyes can stand.

But damn it, why take a good thing and make a sequel?  How often are sequels good?  Phoenix Wright: Justice for All?  Sucked ass.  Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney?  A piece of art.  Why?  Because it was original; because it didn't take something good and try to add something cooler to it.

Something cooler, in this case, being Gwen Stefani and that stupid video shes in.  That's right, the video and song (Holla Back Girl!  That's what its called!  Damn you Gwen Stefani!) actually play in the background as your trying to move the blocks into 2x2 squares before the time runs out.  The challenge?  Having to listen to and see Gwen Stefani while doing it.  Its so annoying, it makes it challenging.

My solution?  Stick with Hatris, or go buy the first Lumines, and don't perpetuate this atrocity.