No More Heroes Member Review for the Wii

Holy hell.

(arrives in Hardcore Gaming class 101 to teach).  Okay, which one of you noobs has played hardcore games like Contra, Battletoads, the ORIGIONAL Zelda, SMB3, and etc? (All but 3 raise their hands.  I direct the three next door to cooking.)

This is hard core.  Rule #1: When there is a game when you can swing a beam katana, buy it if you are like me.  Rule #2: When you fight bosses such as Destroyman, whose super move is shooting a lazer out of his, well, you know, happy sack (Screw Psycho Crusher and Heartless Angel, this is COOL!) and Bad Girl, who lives in a basement with a baseball bat dressed up as a cross between The Bride and a drunk Marie Antonette (sweet, that's my 100th!  I'm going to Steak and Shake tomorrow to get me a burger!!!  WOO!)  Rule #3.  Don't play after eating a big lunch.  It's violent.  Like Micheal Bay "everything-must-blow-up-because-I-went-nutty-on-the-TNT" violent.  Rule #4: This game's got more plot twists than Lost.

So if it's violent and hardcore, why do I like it so much?  It's funny.  Travis has NOTHING on that Italian plumber, he has a Beam Katana, he's an amateur luchador (learn to LOVE the suplex, kids), he's got a Slot Machine (yeah, that's your Supermove!)... and he just wants to tear everything in half.

Alright, the game.  Graphics are cell-shaded, a la Killer 7.  Charecters explode and die like zits, a la Killer 7.  It's non-linear, to a point, a la Killer 7 (think of it as a Japanese GTA).    And it doesn't suck like Killer 7.  And boy, it's fun.  It's wild, it's zany, it's crazy.  The bosses are insane, and I got 3 on my Top 25 Boss Fight List off the bat.  We don't need no more heroes... we'll be fine with this lovely game for a while.  You can go home, Superman.