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Posted on 07/14/14
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No More Heroes Member Review for the Wii

VegasGuru By:
VegasGuru
08/04/08
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
EMAIL TO A FRIEND
GENRE Action 
PLAYERS
PUBLISHER Ubisoft 
DEVELOPER Grasshopper Manufacture 
RELEASE DATE Out Now
M Contains Blood and Gore, Crude Humor, Intense Violence, Sexual Themes, Strong Language

What do these ratings mean?

I love games with unique styles and different forms of gameplay.  Even when they tell their stories differently, I usually give the game some points solely for doing that.  However, it is not always the case.  This game is so unininteresting that after 2 days I don't even care to look at it.  I don't care what happens in the story, I don't care to collect all the whatever the hell it is they make you collect, I just don't care for it.

Let me start with what is good.  The character and the overall game's originality is worth mentioning.  I love the old school Nintendo sounds and 8 bit markers they use to give the game some flavor.  The main character is also cool in his goofy, every anime nerd type of hero.  There's also a good amount of humor in the game.  That's pretty much it.  It's crazy violent so I guess it also gets some points for that. 

There's a lot of bad.  Like the driving of that awful motorcycle.  Getting around town in between missions or "ranked battles" as they are called, is beyond annoying and chore-like.  Games are supposed to be fun, interesting and entertaining.  This Grand Theft Auto-type of city where you may free roam is beyond crappy.  I hated being in between missions and if you have any sense as to whats a good game you will too.  The motorcycle's mechanics are piss-poor and the city's layout itself is just bland and sterile. 

The god awful mini-games you're forced to play in order to raise money to pay for your next ranked battle are ALL tedious and boring.  If they intended these "part time jobs" to feel like real boring work they succeeded.

The controls in this game are really bad.  I don't know how many times I got killed by the second boss because my shitty character could not lock onto her or he got "stuck" on a pillar.  The only thing that is decent is the swinging of the control in order to do a finishing move.  But considering that the wii-mote is what makes the Wii, you would think that in a sword slashing game it would be implemented a little more.  Aside from the one time you'll swing the remote in the direction the game tells you to, you'll be pressing the A button a whole lot in this game.  Button mashing games were fun when I was 10 and played Streets of Rage on the Genesis.  Somewhere along the line they've lost their appeal. 

The enemies are all the same.  If you like endless hordes of the same guy standing around while you pummel his buddy right in front of him, then this game is for you.  No AI whatsoever.  Aside from the occasional block these guys are just there to quench whatever thirst you have for animated Kool-Aid colored blood. 

Music.  Just bad.  Spend enough time on that motorcycle and you'll hear the same crappy surf music repeat to where you'll want to stuff candle wax in your ears...still burning hot candle wax. 

Graphics.  Meh.  I know what they were shooting for but its neither here nor there.  This game could have been done for the Dreamcast.   

I can only guess that these guys wanted to make a game that is tongue in cheek.  They certainly surpassed that and just made a bad one.  What is more upsetting is that so many people gave this a great review.  Based on what?  Its not even fun in the least.  It may be fun for the first 2 hours, but after the sixth with the same **** you quickly forget what little fun you did have...


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