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Old Before Their Time
By oblivion437
Posted on 04/13/15
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Wii Fit Member Review for the Wii

By:
BlueBomber88
09/19/08
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
EMAIL TO A FRIEND
GENRE Sports 
PLAYERS
PUBLISHER Nintendo 
DEVELOPER Nintendo 
RELEASE DATE  
E Contains Comic Mischief

What do these ratings mean?

It happened.   My mom finally got into Nintendo.

It wasn't through Brain Age (since she hates Sudukou) or through Nintendogs (she's a cat person) or even through Mario Kart (beating her using my feet was pretty hysterical).  It's this.

3 things you need to know about this game:

1) It's EXPESNSIVE and HARD TO GET.  I'm not joking.  I went to 10 Best Buys to get this game.

2) I am FAT.  This game thinks I am the fattest person alive (even though I am 5' 10", 200lbs.)

3) Your Wii Fit Age is used by a formula that defies any logic known to man or God.

Simply put: I got a 24 the first time I took it.  My 50-year old mother who weighs half as much and runs 4 miles a day gets a 60.  I've never run towards anything but another soda or cake.

Ok, so we got the game, shelled out a pretty penny, and now we got... this.  I've had it for a month.  First week: "yay!  I'm going to lose some weight!" Second week, "Ok, I unlocked everything..."  Now: "%!#^ing boring!  I'm going to get myself 2 cans of Red Bull and a pie!"

Yes, it's PERFECT for non-gamers.  I'm not a non-gamer.  I'm a guy who once played Mario Kart for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT withouth ANY sleep, making over $2,200 in prop bets and races from my friends (Drank enough Pepsimax to kill a whale.)  It's also boring once you do everything, and it doesn't help that Hanz, Franz, and Misty (The males are twins Hans/Franz, from the skit from Saturday Night Live, and the girl is named after the gym leader from Pokemon...) have the peronality of a cardboard cuttout of Marie Antonette (if I make another 4 jokes about that chick, I get a free Steak and Shake meal!), and well, some of the games can easily be cheated.

Such as:

Any One Legged Balance Game: Lean on your TV.  Easy 90%+

Any Movement Game: Use one foot.  Easy Big Points

Any Yoga Pose: Stand still, genius.

So... yeah.  Apart from the fact that your Wii Fit Age is about as useful as your glove size, and the trainers are lifeless, and when they try to have life (Misty stays out late and wakes up at 4pm every day!), it's usually not funny.

Unless you are fat, PASS.  Just do what I do, go outside and play football.  But if you're a non-gamer, yeah, go on.  Buy it.  We're here to pump... YOU up!


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