Halo 3 Member Review for the Xbox360

I was lucky enough to get a copy of Halo 3 early, and I have to say I am a bit surprised. I am surprised I actually paid money to get this game. Let the hazing commence:

Graphics or how I learned how to draw blood from an alien

The graphics in Halo 3 are above average for this day and age. The trees are good. The rocks are good. Hell, watching a large group of retarded marines get blown up looks good. That is to say, the first time you see it. During the game, you will get to feel like you have been in this place about 4 times already. As you progress through, you will go through the same areas so many times you will have to shoot holes in the ground to make sure that you are not actually just going in circles. But my main problem with the graphics is the blood effects. It remains essentially the same from the earlier games, where a bullet from the crappy guns causes 15 gallons of blood to spray upon the floor and the walls, and smacking them with said crappy guns causes 15 thousand gallons to spray upon the floor and the walls. With all that blood I am honestly surprised MasterChief isn't an Olympic Blood Swimmer.
Graphics get 3 pluses for looking good, but 4 minuses for the repetitive canyons and tunnels full of alien blood.

Sound or how I learned to save money by using the same soundtrack over and over

Usually in a game, you enjoy the fresh new sounds of a bullet as you can make better and better sound effects as time passes and new sound making technology grows. It is also great to know that in later sequels for games, they will add new battle music to pump you up whenever you play any of the games. Halo 3 decided to just pull a Madden and not even bother to make any changes whatsoever. Every single sound in this game has been heard at least 400 times before in either Halo 2, Halo, Marathon, Halo 4.5, Halo² and Halo -1. This is disappointing, because the music still does not succeed in either setting a mood or pumping you up. This is aided by the fact that the music will still play really suddenly at the wrong time. For example, you are in a grassy canyon waist deep in blood, just enjoying the first time you see a grassy canyon when suddenly heavy guitar music starts playing. You look around, thinking you'll see an enemy or a ship. Instead you find a retarded fleet of Marines, who used a warthog to run over another group of marines.
Sound gets 7 minuses for being unoriginal, uninspiring and incorrect.

Gameplay or how I learned to never use my left arm to punch.

Unfortunately, to fit everything in here I will have to summarize:
-Still drop gun while dual-wielding melee
-still can't store a dual-wielding set
+Assault rifle is back
-SMG is back
-Vehicles still destructible
-Vehicles reflect super-powered sniper shot, not a crappy gun shot
+Cool new weapons
-Useless new weapons
-Useless old weapons
+Cool new vehicles
+Cool old vehicles
-Useless new vehicles
4 pluses 9 minuses

Campaign or boring piece of crap.

Now I'm getting kind of bored with this review, so I will keep this part short. The campaign.. still... sucks. The plot is still dead, and is continually meleed into a blood ocean by such plot devices as: Arbiter, Covenant Civil War, Arbiter, the Flood, the gay flying robots, Arbiter, Master Chief still not having a plot, Arbiter, Master Chief not having a personality, Arbiter, Halo is still going to destroy the universe, and Arbiter. Honestly, it is campainful to even play. And there are so many gaping plot holes. Like how are the certain that the Halo is actually going to kill everything, and if the Halo can kill all the Flood's food, why can't it just kill all the Flood? As you make your way through the campain in the ass, you will notice that the A.I. for the Covenant has gotten better, which isn't that big of a leap. Hell, even the Marines have advanced from "shoot everything" to "shoot everything and not die as fast". The problem is that the Marines never got their drivers licenses, so when one of them gets behind the wheel expect to die faster than a canary in a room full of ammonia.
The campaign gets 2 pluses for a new A.I., but 15 minuses for everything else.

and finally the moment we've all been waiting for:
MULTIPLAYER!! or how I learned how to cuss in a high voice OR how I learned what Halo 3 is all about OR how I learned what Shadowrun should have been like.

The Halo 3 multiplayer is a blast. That is the easiest way to state this. It is fun to play, fun to watch, not fun to hear, and tedious to mute. There is a bit of a problem. Too many annoying people will soon be flooding the Halo 3 games. Now since the game isn't out at the time of this review, it has not happened yet. BUT IT WILL! The people on now are nice, and I have only been cussed out twice! But the sheer anticipation of  "WHAT THE F^!K ARE YOU DOING YOU MUTHER F&%KIN PIECE OF @#$ PIE I WANT YOU TO DIE!" makes my blood boil, and my 360 suddenly turn red with three lights. Seeing as how most of the new features are bound to make stupid people angry, you better have a strong heart.
Multiplayer gets 20 pluses for being great, but 7 minuses for annoying people.


And that about wraps it up. The greatness of the multiplayer and the campainful diarrhea balance each other out, leaving nothing but a steaming stink crater of a game.