Two Days Until Team Fortress 2’s Meet The Pyro

Another Team Fortress 2 update is upon us and that means one thing: MEET THE PYRO.

Teamfortress.com/Pyromania displays a countdown clock with just 44 hours left to go. Instead of sitting there, twiddling your thumbs, grab your mouse and keyboard and enjoy the new game mode TF2's had updated right into it. Just... right up in there... all up in TF2.... is a new game mode:

Doomsday pits BLU against RED, with only one team getting the honor of transporting a suitcase nuke full of recalled Mann Co. Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe's rocket, so he can blast off and hunt down Soviet space chimp Vladimir Bananas. It's the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania '69! Both teams will attempt to get the necessary fuel up a preposterously slow-moving elevator and into Poopy Joe's Australium-powered rocket to the stars.

What the fuck did I just read?