Dragon Quest VIII’s Terrible Mobile Port Going International

You may recall the awful-looking gameplay video Square Enix sent out with ironic pride some months ago. The company has now revealed that the whole world can taste the mediocrity of Dragon Quest VIII's iOS version. My link keeps switching to the Japanese store because of my location, but uh, here's this. It should change for you. If it doesn't, well then fuck it. I'm putting about as much effort into this as Square Enix is.

The price will be around $20, give or take based on exchange rates and your location. The value will be... much less.

In explaining how awesome the game is, Square Enix said this:

- Save your game often.
- When suspending play, please make sure to close the app completely via the recently used apps list.
- Frequent crashes can sometimes be remedied by restarting your device.

Wow! Gonna be hard to keep my phone in my pocket once I get this awesomeness!