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I Don't Want to, but I Have To...
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Revolutionary Rant: Veteran's Affairs

Posted on Thursday, May 19 @ 22:46:05 Eastern by

I played Call of Duty: Black Ops on Veteran today. I spent an hour in the single player campaign. Most of that time was spent camping out with my aim down the sights waiting for one of the computer controlled henchmen to pop his head out from behind the corner. I actually expected the frustration that came from this. I've played Call of Duty games on Veteran before, you see.

No, it was the end of the level that made me realize something about Treyarch's cold-war shooter. The player character slides down an embankment and falls through a cloth overhang. A massive wave of enemies approaches from all sides and opens fire. (You can see this sequence starting at the 2:51 mark in the video above). I succeeded in surviving this onslaught of enemy fire once in 27 attempts.

I will never, ever play that section of the game again.

I'll admit that my motivation for even putting Black Ops in my Xbox 360 again was a wealth of achievements I hadn't yet earned. That digital moose head on my virtual wall was encouragement enough to even play the campaign a second time. The 10 initial attempts amounted to an investment I had to see through. That being said, Activision, Treyarch and every individual who laid hands on the creation of the single player campaign in Call of Duty Black Ops can go die in a fucking fire.

Seriously, fuck you and your horrid, vile, venomous game design. You are the scum of the industry. How could you possibly see fit to release such trash into the world?

I get that Call of Duty's campaign leaves little to change in terms of difficulty. Your level design is too linear to allow for alternate objectives like those found in Nintendo 64 classics like Perfect Dark. You've backed yourself into a corner where your only options are to dial up enemy damage and dial down player health.

How fucking stupid of you! I would suggest you retool your game design, but I know you're too dense, too slow, and... too weighed down with cash to mix up your formula. How many of the millions of consumers actually finish your game before throwing their hands up in anger? This is a warning.

Do not stagnate. Iterate, evolve, and create something new. Sales will wain if you refuse to react to your failures. Guitar Hero has already spelled it out for you. Even stalwarts like EA's Madden series, a franchise that's been around for over 20 years, have started to falter.

If you don't change? Fine, fuck you and your broken game. If you do... whatever, I'm still mad at you.

The Revolutionary Rant turns a cynical eye to the gaming industry. Every Thursday (the angriest day of the week) you can find Game Revolution's take on any particularly outrageous event, news item, or person in the gaming industry. Got a bone to pick with gaming? Leave a comment or send an e-mail suggesting a rant-worthy topic to daniel@gamerevolution.com.
Related Games:   Call of Duty: Black Ops
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