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The only thing that stops the dust is the rain. It’s a sweet reprieve, but there is no middle ground. The land is either as dry as the Betty Ford clinic, or as wet as the ocean floor. Everything can be seen from the ridge overlooking Armadillo as John Marston gently bounces along atop...


South Park: The Stick of Truth Achievements Are All Sorts of Controversial

Posted on Monday, February 10 @ 06:44:25 PST by Alex_Osborn

The Achievements list for Ubisoft and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming RPG South Park: The Stick of Truth has been revealed. We've got the full list below, but proceed at your own risk. SPOILERS abound.

Here they are:
  • New Kid On The Block: Join the KKK
  • First Day in South Park: Spend one day in South Park.
  • Gingivitis: Let Gingers bite you 3 times without blocking.
  • Day Walker: Defeat the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.
  • Made This for You: Fling a turd that you created at an enemy in combat.
  • Are We Cool?: Find Jesus while playing as a Jew.
  • Parkeologist: Open all garages in South Park.
  • For the Hoarder: Sell nothing the entire game.
  • Truth to Power: Fart on the Mayor, Father Maxi, Principal Vic, & Prime Minister.
  • Irritable Bowels: Shit your pants during a boss battle.
  • Dog Whistle: Fart on a canine enemy while in Gnome form.
  • Dragon Wrath: Hit 3 enemies with a single fart outside of combat.
  • Just Saying Hi: Fart on each available buddy in the game.
  • Re-Buttal: Interrupt 5 channel attacks with a fart.
  • Heisenberg: Defeat the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and the bald cap.
  • Shutout: Successfully block every enemy attack in a single, non-tutorial battle.
  • Stay Down: Fart on 10 enemies in the world when they’re knocked out.
  • Avenger: Defeat at least 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy is unconscious.
  • No Child Left Behind: Complete the game without ever ending a combat with a buddy knocked out.
  • Poco Chinpoko: Collect 5 Chinpokomon.
  • Chinpoko loco: Collect 15 Chinpokomon.
  • Chinpokolypse: Collect all the Chinpokomon.
  • Daddy Issues: Befriend your Dad.
  • More Popular Than Jesus: Befriend Half of South Park.
  • Junk Peddler: Sell 300 junk items.
  • Ass of Fire: Kill 20 enemies with Cartman’s ass.
  • Canadian Handshake: Fart on people 100 times
  • Animal Cruelty: Fart on animals 25 times.
  • Pulling Mud: Shit Your Pants in battle three times.
  • Shopaholic: Complete half of the available costume sets.
  • Clothes Whore: Complete all available Costume Sets.
  • Friends in Strange Places: Befriend Crab People and Underpants Gnomes.
  • Weapon Proficiency: Score 100 perfect attacks.
  • Skilled Defender: Block 100 attacks.
  • You bastards!: Have Kenny Die 10 times in battle over the course of the game.
  • Mastery: Unlock all the upgrades for one of the New Kid’s abilities.
  • Make it Rain!: Spend $500.
  • Full Arsenal: Collect all the weapons and costumes available in the game.
What do you think of the list? There's no doubt this game is going to have all the ridiculousness the show has... and probably then some.
Tags:   South Park, ubisoft

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