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Meet me at the corner of Blizzard and Activision |
It’s called E3, and it’s a geek ritual. And I recently made it through my eighth one.
But despite my veteran status, I once again found myself totally unprepared for this annual onslaught of overstimulation. That goes with the territory, I suppose. It’s hard enough keeping track of a week’s worth of game releases; imagine trying to keep track of over 5,000 products shown by over 400 companies in only 3 days. Thank god I had my brain replaced with a calculator last month. Hey, did you know that if you type in 5318008 and look at it upside down, it spells “boobies?”
Anyway, I digress. Or regress.
The fact is, E3 has happened and I’m the better editor for it, another year notched on the belt and a new outlook on gaming fresh in the frontal lobe. So with only a little further ado, here’s this year’s version of my time-honored tradition known as
BEN’S ENORMOUS E3 WRAP-UP!
NOW WITH NO TRANS-FAT!
If you just bought your very first television two days ago and somehow haven’t heard of E3, then please hide behind a rock while the GR staff hurls knives at you for being so out of touch. Once the bleeding has stopped, continue reading the next paragraph, which explains exactly what you’ve been missing. I should note this is copied verbatim from last year’s Enormous E3 Wrap-Up because I felt really good about the way I explained it back then. Does this count as plagiarism?
E3 is an annual convention celebrating the world's hottest upcoming gaming-related software and hardware. But don't think of your high school bake sale - this thing is BIG, with over 60,000 geeks attending this year's show. The 400+ companies on hand go to great lengths to ensnare the lion's share of this legion of A.D.D. patients, some with booths so cavernous that you can literally get lost if you wander in too far without tying a string to the door. Rapid-fire lightshows, 20-foot high video screens and sound systems rivaling a picnic at Dre's house battle for control of each attendee's flimsy attention span. It's a spectacle, surely, and it's also lots of fun.
Yeah, that still sounds about right. But while the description might still be accurate, this year’s show differed from last year’s in at least one very big - or should I say, very small, almost portable - way. And so, on with the wrap-up!
>> continue to I WANNA HOLD YOUR HANDHELD!
