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A Letter to the Big “N"
By shandog137
Posted on 09/12/14
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Shadows of the Damned Preview

Kuulei_N By:
Kuulei_N
03/09/11
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
EMAIL TO A FRIEND
GENRE Action 
PLAYERS 1- 1 
PUBLISHER EA 
DEVELOPER Grasshopper Manufacture 
RELEASE DATE Out Now
M Contains Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language

What do these ratings mean?

I’ll never think of strawberries in the same way again.


A woman with short blonde hair slowly walks over to you with a seductive strut that emphasizes the curves of her hips. She is wearing nothing but a white bustier with garters and a thong. She caresses your face and whispers something to you, but before you can respond, her body is torn apart from the inside out. What was once a beautiful woman is now a detestable blood-stained beast. You then realize that bitches be crazy you need some serious therapy.

click to enlargeThroughout Shadows of the Damned, you play as demon-hunter Garcia Hotspur, who travels through Hell searching for his kidnapped girlfriend, Paula. Since it is Hell, it’s not going to involve sunshine and butterflies, but instead baby heads and strawberries that are composed of ground-up human tongues. Yummy.

Demonic creatures often appear to prevent you from advancing, bringing the darkness along with them and you feel it: loud, intolerable sounds are heard, a blue and black haze clouds your vision, and your health depletes. You have a chance of dispersing the darkness by searching for and shooting a gold goat’s head. The demented creatures are then vulnerable to melee attacks and weaponry which shoot light.

If the darkness wasn’t enough of an obstacle, you encounter gates, such as Demon Pube—yes, pube—Gates, which conceal certain items that are demanded by baby heads, who guard other gates. Baby heads clamor for different things, such as strawberries, human hearts, and eyeballs, in order to pass.

click to enlargeTo assist you throughout this madness, alcohol is the best solution. Tequila, sake, and absinthe restore Garcia’s health, which is bought at vendors or vending machines with white gems. Gems act as currency. White gems can also purchase ammo and red gems, which upgrade weaponry by increasing damage, ammo capacity, or reload speed. At times, you come across blue gems, which offer major changes to weapons that provide different functions.

Since alcohol doesn’t last forever, you enlist a loyal guide to accompany you throughout Hell. Johnson is an Englishman, who is a flaming skull that acts as a torch to light the way. Having a trusty shape-shifting demon to comfort you during these hellish rough times should be appreciated as he saves your butt more times than not, since he transforms into the weapons that you use.

Weapons include a machine gun, which shoots teeth (hence being called Teether), a shotgun which shoots skulls is called Monocutioner and a pistol called Boner. Can you guess what it shoots? Bones! It shoots bones. What else could you possibly think of?

click to enlargeSuch weapons are crucial in not only defeating demons, but bosses as well. One aspect of the game that is worth noting is that developers included an in-depth story about each of the bosses. For instance, the aforementioned blood-stained creature carries a harmonica in his throat and seems to have a relentless appetite, so as you play the game you find out why he likes a tune and why he chooses to consume rather than fighting Garcia. Also, his name is George.

So you have talking baby heads, deceiving strawberries, health-reviving-alcohol, a woman running around in a thong, a Boner—I’m talking about the name of the pistol, you pervs—and George to say hello to. It’s obvious that Shadows of the Damned is full of disturbing images, wacky surprises and twisted humor. Expect its release this year in June.
More GR previews for this game:
Shadows of the Damned preview posted on 03/09/11.

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