Where’s Bald Bull?
“Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, lllllllllet’s get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!”
The words echo through boxing rings every time a title is on the line. Michael
Buffer is the ultimate ring announcer. No one has more job security that that
man. Heck, he even copyrighted his own voice!
an era where sports icons sell out left and right to be on McDonalds’s cups or
to play rapping genies on the big screen, it comes as little surprise that Buffer
has entered the video game ring. Via his patented style and voice, Buffer and
Midway bring you Ready 2 Rumble Boxing, an arcade boxer that’s tons of
fun . . . on any system besides the N64.
The music, while annoying, fits the game perfectly. The sound is also really
well done. Each boxer has a 15-second introduction done by Michael Buffer, complete
with little comments. The only problem is that you hear Buffer’s patented “Ready
to Rumble” line at the beginning of every single bout. As much
as I like the man, I honestly never want to hear that line again.
The gameplay is the hardest part of the game to understand. Ready 2 Rumble is, very obviously, an arcade boxer. Taking goofy characters and wacky moves over realistic boxers, Ready 2 Rumble chooses to walk the trail blazed by games like Punch Out. Or so one would think . . .
As it turns out, Ready 2 Rumble has a number of very sim-like aspects
to it. First off, it’s really hard. This isn’t a game where you just run in
and beat the enemy down. Instead, you have to bob and weave, choosing when to
strike the opponent and when the back away (Gotta know when to hold ’em, know
when to fold ’em…).
Even the Career mode is vastly more complicated than the recent “authentic”
boxing game Knockout
Kings. In order to go for the championship bout, you not only have to defeat
a number of opponents, but you need to enhance your character along the way.
Training your boxer involves a series of mini-games, each improving your boxer
in different ways. There are a total of five mini-games: Rumble Aerobics, Sway
Bag, Speed Bag, Heavy Bag, and Weight Lifting. These neat little games add a
depth to Ready 2 Rumble that’s not seen in most other boxing games.
notions that this game is sim-like, however, get tossed out the window by the
hilarious character design. From the big-haired Afro Thunder to the big-breasted
Lulu Valentine, the different boxers give new meaning to the term “over the
top.” And I didn’t even mention the boxer from the 1800’s . . . (Pssst…you
just did – Ed.)
Unfortunately, the neat character design doesn’t help the character balance, which needs a lot of work. Some of the boxers are just plain better than others, regardless of your skill level. This means that as you and your friends get better and better at the game, you have to declare some of the characters “off-limits” in order to keep things fair.
Another strange addition is the use of the RUMBLE technique. When characters land certain blows on the opponent, they gain letters to spell out the word RUMBLE. When that occurs, you simply press the two trigger buttons and your boxer freaks out. Then, by pressing A and B, you execute a number of fast moves on your opponent. While this is all well and good, it’s absolutely useless during the game. Most CPU opponents simply block the entire exchange, leaving you open for a quick jab to your jaw after you’re done.
The graphics are where this version of Ready 2 Rumble Boxing falls
face first in the ring. While on one hand, comparing the N64 version to the
Dreamcast version is
a bit unfair, comparing it to the Playstation
version isn’t. Plain and simple, this game looks ugly on the N64. Horrible
movement and blocky graphics totally ruin this game. The Playstation version
faired better than the N64 version, but you still have to ask the question:
Why did they port this game without changing it drastically? The graphics are
so bad, it makes this game not worth having.
Ready 2 Rumble Boxing would be a strange, mixed bag of fun, if you
could ignore the horrible graphics. Add to that all the problems that were inherent
in the Dreamcast version, and you have yet another Midway N64 game that belongs
in the bargain bin.