Furu Furu Park Review

Blake

genre

  • N/A

players

  • 1 - 2

Publisher

  • Majesco

Developer

  • Taito

Release Date

  • 01/01/1970
  • Out Now

Platform

  • Wii

rating

Furiously Furu

In the Wii world mini-games seem to reign supreme. Whether getting in shape with Wii-fit or searching for treasure with Zack and Wiki. Furu Furu Park (not to be confused with Furries in a park) tries to carry on that fine tradition but, unfortunately, falls flat on it’s face.

[image1]Furu Furu reminds me of a Japanese arcade - it’s got bright colors and fun music. The sense of humor has some eastern flavor as well - and what’s up with all the muscle men with neon afros? The problem is that the games just aren’t as fun as the ones you would find in the arcade.

But here’s the real question: How do you review a game that’s nothing but a hodge-podge of smaller games, all with their own unique controls and goals? Well, I think the Japan-esque theme of Furu may have inspired me to try a new writing technique… I have created an individual haiku for each minigame.

Skateboard / Skateboard Extreme:

Go left! Left, damn you!
Why won’t you do as I say?
Tilting left works not.

Unwrap the Mummy:

Jerk off the Wii-mote,
Don’t let your friends catch you though.
They’ll get bad ideas.

Pinch Hitter:

Just hit the ball once.
Yep, that’s it, just hit it once.
Now the game is done.

[image3]Swan Runner:

Don’t hit barricades.
Escape the dying planet,
Otherwise you lose.

The Hammer Throw:

Three grown men with ‘fros;
That’s what you throw, not hammers.
WTF’s up here?

Treasure Hunter:

Wait, what’s going on?
Oh crap! I fell down a pit.
That was pretty lame…

Sushi / Sushi Fever:

I like to eat fish,
But I don’t like to serve it.
Virtual waiting.

Submarine Escape:

Not that bad really,
Until the missiles come out.
Try to avoid them.

[image5]Super Karate:

Like Skateboard, tilt left,
Only this time seems to work.
Other programmers?

Swan Shooter / Night Mission:

I could play Raiden
Instead of this minute long
Version of the game.

Camelmaze:

Spin, spin tiny maze!
I think I’m gonna be sick.
Where is my barf-bag?

Robo Clash:

What time is it now?
Giant Robo beat down time!
My shoulder is sore.

Birdman:

Move like bike pedals
Then, crash into the water.
This game makes no sense.

Safe:

Memorize numbers:
6-8-7-5-3-0-9.
Now unlock the safe.

[image7] Takoyaki:

Cook octopus cakes?
That sounds like a real fun time.
I love sarcasm.

Snow Cone:

Turn the crank quickly;
Man, this game is too easy.
My arm is tired.

Sudden Death:

Shaolin Soccer style,
But you cannot use your feet.
Spin well FTW.

Rev. The Engine / Rev it up More:

A rhythm game now?
At least that what it feels like:
You must get groovy.

Arkanoid:

Only one level,
That’s all that you’re gonna get.
It’s over too quick.

Dragonfly Hunter:

Dragonfly Afro.
Flick him, but make bugs dizzy.
Your guess? Good as mine.

Bubble Bobble:

Same as Arkanoid,
You are left wanting some more.
Just a time trial.

[image9]Pocky and Rocky:

Another classic,
So far they are the best part.
They are still too short.

Sonic Blastman 20XX:

Punch ‘dem meteors,
Don’t let one of them slip by.
You are a hero.

Puzzle Kids / Expert / Girls:

Move circle pieces
Until they make a picture.
Circle moves too slow.

Much like haiku, Furu Furu Park is short and to the point. Some games are fun, while others are bland, and none of them takes more than three minutes to play.

At least the grading system is funny with a pig spouting out that you’re a Water Flea or Gorilla or some other random thing based on how well you did in each round. There’s even a two-player mode where a transvestite determines your love compatibility with the other player.

However none of that is enough to overcome the fact that all the games are too short, or just plain not fun, leaving players with no compelling reason to picnic in this park.

REVOLUTION REPORT CARD

0.5
Rating
Great Colors
Funny Grading System
A few fun games
Everything is too short
Not enough variety
Games have little, if any, replay value
Target market? Japanese school girls.
Seriously, what’s with all the Afros?