More Reviews
REVIEWS Firefall Review
Repetitive gameplay makes this fall a little boring.

The Walking Dead: Season Two Review
At this point, you’re not coming back for the zombies. Let’s get down to business.
More Previews
PREVIEWS Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions Preview
Put up some movie glasses, because Geometry Wars is entering the third dimension.
Release Dates
NEW RELEASES Destiny
Release date: 09/09/14

FIFA 15
Release date: 09/23/14

Ar Nosurge: Ode to an Unborn Star
Release date: 09/23/14

Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
Release date: 09/30/14


LATEST FEATURES And I Was All "Hell Yeah I'll Play a New Dreamcast Game"
I just played a Dreamcast game that was released in... wait, 2014?

A Comprehensive Guide to Dealing with Controversy in the Video Game Industry
Need help wading through the latest misogyny/homophobia/racism/corruption debate in the gaming industry? Paul Tamburro’s here to help!
MOST POPULAR FEATURES The Updating List of PAX Indies
We're heading to PAX Prime! Are you looking to check out a few unique indie games while you're there? UPDATED: Dragon Fin Soup, Dungeon of the Endless,

LEADERBOARD
Read More Member Blogs
FEATURED VOXPOP samsmith614 Since game design is a business, I decided to see what's really selling well for the PS4. I did this search a week ago, and at the time, out of the top 20 bestsellers on Amazon 10 had not even been released yet. By now some have been released. But others still have not. And yet others...

Army Men Review

Mark_Cooke By:
Mark_Cooke
06/05/98
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
EMAIL TO A FRIEND
GENRE Action 
PLAYERS 1- 4 
PUBLISHER 3DO 
DEVELOPER 3DO 
RELEASE DATE  
MINIMUM SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
E Contains Animated Violence

What do these ratings mean?

Wait... you mean this game isn't for the Atari?

In the game industry, this kind of a game event doesn't occur very often. In this era of light sourcing and 3D acceleration, it's rare that we see a game with a story that is much better than the graphics.

Normally, we here at Game Revolution would have praise for this kind of an attempt at an immersive experience. Unfortunately, the gameplay in Army Men is so bad, it is impossible to overlook. Like I said, it's a rare scenario.

The story for Army Men rocks. You remember those little green, tan, gray, and blue little plastic toys you used to play with? Even if you don't, the game comes packaged with two of them that will help you remember (in fact, I think I'd rather play with the toys than play Army Men). Personally, I remember setting up grand scale battles between the miniature men. The story is set up brilliantly - the Green's are attacking the evil, tyrannical Tan's. Blue and Gray are supposed to be neutral, but these groups sometimes help Tan, and sometimes help Green. In a complicated story of backstabbing and trustworthiness, little toys go head to head in plastic death.

The gameplay doesn't quite pan out the same way. In three different environments, Desert, Alpine, and Bayou, each containing four different missions, you must attack and destroy the evil Tan invaders. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking this is a real-time strategy game. You control one unit, Sarge, who has his own array of weapons and moves. You can call other soldiers in to help you, but you still only control Sarge. So instead of getting to set up large battles, you control one soldier. Quite boring.

On the plus side, you can drive vehicles. On the minus side, the novelty of running over Army Men (admit it, you put them under car tires when you were a kid) wears off quickly. Simply put, there was absolutely no fun involved in playing the game.

The in-game graphics are outdated. Lacking both style and substance, they seem unprofessional. On the other hand, the cut-scenes are really good -- they look like old newsreels, except they have little plastic men moving around and talking. These small intermissions really add to the story while making the gameplay look worse and worse at the same time. And to add insult to injury, the sound and music suck too. What are supposed to be radio communications between you and the base come off as garbled static. Gun noises sound like they were made by a guy saying "Pkow! Boom!".

The whole game has a distinctly amateur feel. It might have been great on my 386, but now it's just an old mess. The multiplayer mode may be the game's only saving grace. Although it only has a four-player maximum, which is disappointing, it contains two different methods of play. The tried and true deathmatch mode, as well as capture the flag. Deathmatch is boring but capture the flag can be fairly fun. You can play modem to modem, over the internet, or on a LAN, so at least the method of play isn't limiting.

Legions of grown ups that were anticipating this game so that they could venture back to their childhood will be deeply disappointed. If you want to play a boring, tiresome game that seems like it should have been made 8 years ago, be my guest. But for everyone else, I suggest not touching this one with a 20-foot stick!

D+ Revolution report card
  • Not fun
  • Horrible graphics
  • Terrible Music/Sound
  • Can't melt their heads with a magnifying glass
  • OK multiplayer
    Reviews by other members
    No member reviews for the game.


More from the Game Revolution Network




comments powered by Disqus

 


More information about Army Men


More On GameRevolution