Earthworm Jim Review

He's an annelid with attitude.

Once upon a time, there was a worm, and unbeknownst to our friend The Worm, intergalactic battles were taking place millions of miles directly above his wormy little head. A supersuit was the cause of the all the ruckus, and in the midst of the struggle, the suit was dropped, fell to the earth, and turned our friend, the everyday worm, into... (*swell of music*) . . . EARTHWORM JIM (EWJ).

Now, mean people everywhere are trying to regain the powerful suit with absolutely no regard for our hero's life. In addition to all this, EWJ has developed a crush on a certain Princess What's-Her-Name, who is imprisoned by her nasty sister, Queen Slug For a Butt, with the help of the nefarious villain, Psy-crow. In Earth Worm Jim 1, he battles his way through world after world in search of his fair princess. Princesses are not known for their fidelity and grace, and Princess What's-Her-Name is no exception. She is unimpressed by EWJ's meager fortune and slimy skin, and she refuses him the gratitude he ever-so-desires, but our hero is not thwarted. He woos the princess with his super strength, his amazing table manners... not to mention his tiny Elvis collection. Just as Princess What's-Her-Name is about to succumb to our hero's charms, she is captured by Psy-crow, who is looking for a quick ride to the top of the food chain by marrying a princess and becoming a king. In Earth Worm Jim 2, our hero fights the same bad guys on different worlds.

Earthworm Jim: The Whole Can O' Worms is eloquence in motion. The graphics are excellent. Even as baby puppy brains are splattering on the pavement, one cannot help but sigh at the awesome storm brewing in the background. It's an amazing game that doesn't take itself too seriously. The music reflects the heart of the game better than the dark backgrounds. The soundtrack spans from Irish to classical to elevator music. It's always bizarre, always entertaining. If there were a soundtrack, my sister would buy it (and I'd steal it from her).

But let's get to the heart of the game, the beauty of Earthworm Jim is it's sense of humor. EWJ runs through planets of meat, being chased by a salt shaker. He catches falling baby puppies and bounces them to safety off a giant marshmellow. He launches cows. He dodges angry grandmothers and lawyers. For heavens sakes, he turns into a blind cave salamander who says "TENder" whenever he encounters a wriggling worm. It's all a very elaborate, very funny joke, and I'm buying.

If I was being tortured by some cruel overlord and had only enough money to buy EWJ 1 or EWJ 2, but not both, I'd...do the honorable thing and bawl like a baby. How does one choose between falling baby puppies smashing on the asphalt and bungee jumping with Major Mucus? It's just too painful. EWJ 2 is probably funnier and prettier, but EWJ 1 sets the stage elegantly. In EWJ 2, while Jim is not moving, he jogs in place and just looks ridiculously stupid; I don't know what the designers were thinking. Also, in EWJ 2, Jim can do more stuff; he is now equipped with a snot-swing and a batman-esque shield. Luckly for us, Playmates packed both games together, for the price of one.