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FEATURED VOXPOP oblivion437 Update: I was unfortunately not aware of Shamus Young's severe criticism of Fallout 3 available here to link in the original piece and I regret that.  It dovetails rather nicely with what I've written and it's much better executed than my piece.  I strongly recommend anyone...

Endless Ocean: Blue World Review

Mr_Flounder By:
Mr_Flounder
03/02/10
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION
EMAIL TO A FRIEND
GENRE Adventure 
PLAYERS
PUBLISHER Nintendo 
DEVELOPER Arika 
RELEASE DATE  
E10+ Contains Mild Suggestive Themes, Mild Violence

What do these ratings mean?

Undah dah seeeeaaaa!


I was swimming around yesterday, enjoying a little break, when Sebastian saw me and started screaming, "Flounder! Flounder!!!" Usually he's screaming at Ariel, but I knew she wasn't in trouble because he wasn't asking me where she was (I didn't know anyway, she kinda wanders off sometimes... I think she has the ADD). So I let him catch up, since he's so slow, and he started telling me about something I'd never heard about before.

click to enlargeSebastian says he knows all sorts of stuff about the surface world, but I dunno if I believe him... but then again, I can't really get out of the water (air's so hard to breathe, how do land-swimmers do it?), so I have to take his word for it. He said he played this thing where you can go swimming and see all of the other fish and go all over the world. But I think it's all made up, because he said you play it on something called a Wii. Guess I'll have to ask Scuttle the next time I see him.

So... in this game, you play a human that wants to be me, a fish, so he puts on bigger flippers and swims around. He goes exploring (like me and Ariel!) for coins and little statues and jewelry and pictures and things. Sebastian didn't say anything about any back scratchers, but then again y'never know with him, he leaves stuff out sometimes. And it doesn't really sound like much of a game to me, sounds more like one of those things Scuttle talked about once... a “simulation", I think.

Anyway, he swims and discovers old sunken ships and wreckage and something about a sunken city from a long time ago. I guess when one of their little boats sinks, they get really uppity and try to find out what happened, even if it happened forever ago. It's not a very good idea, since all of those places seem to be filled with... (*looks left, then right*) sharks. They're everywhere. But Sebastian says they're not very scary in this game, because they see you, turn around, and just slap at you with their tail. Doesn't sound like any shark I've ever seen, and I've been chased over half the ocean... in sunken ships! They follow you, they don't just swim around and slap at you.

click to enlargeOh, and he said when you're on the land, you can get somebody to sell you equipment to help you become a better fish, like better fins and new skins, which sounds kinda messed up to me. He can even decorate an island with the treasures he's found. But that it isn't even worth spending the money, since none of them do anything or have any reason to exist. His words, not mine.

It's so pretty down here, but he said the game is almost as pretty on the blurry fish tank thing they play the game on. He said sometimes it looks really life-like, but most of the time he just kept laughing and yelling at the glass and saying that everything looked awkward and moved weird. None of the fish actually talked, none of the humans actually talked, but they kept talking about the treasures of some place named “Valka Castle”, and sunken cities and wrecks all over the world.

They didn't have any personality, just that the old guy kept protecting his daughter and his daughter kept saying she could take care of herself. When have I heard that one before, right? And from what he said, they sounded really shallow... that they didn't care about dead loved ones, just that they wanted to find treasure. Seems a little suspicious to me.

He said he didn't like it, and that even for him it was really boring – and he likes kissing the king's butt and that's it. And then he swore more than I've ever heard, something about “that Enya-lite horribleness” or something, and then he passed out. Guess he was pretty mad; he only faints when it's something serious. Like after seeing a shark or when he heard that people try to eat lobsters. Oh, and that one time Ariel's top-floated off in a quick current. Good times...
C Revolution report card
  • Pretty, for the Wii
  • Controls are easy to pick up
  • Large database of fish to discover
  • Very slow pace
  • Story is thin and uninteresting
  • Sharks are wussy
  • +/- Can help a person fall asleep
    Reviews by other members
    No member reviews for the game.


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