Somewhere out there is a man with an iron pelvis.
A pelvis which may dent, but never break. A pelvis surgically inserted, which
by its sheer tensile strength and armored genitalia tuck-away compartment has
made this man impervious to the humiliations of a life of failed Motocross racing.
For the rest of us, the repeated impacts with dirt, concrete, and vehicles,
the repeated loss of balance, and the repeated donation of testicular hood ornaments
would drive our soft, malleable hides to tears.
Computer gaming, once again, has saved us from ourselves (and our testicles)
with Motocross Madness 2
. Why break your balls in real-life when you
can do it safely on your computer?
Those of you who played the original Motocross Madness
recall a game that successfully balanced arcade fun with a satisfying quotient
of realism and a dash of variety. It was, at the time, probably the best motorcycle
game around. It had great terrain, graphics, gameplay, physics, and some of
the most painful crashes in automotive electronic entertainment. Rainbow Studios,
the creator, went to work on a sequel which, as it turns out, improves upon
the original in every way, adds in some brilliant, satisfying new twists, and
emerges at the top of its field.
is a standout, featuring possibly the smoothest, most detailed terrain engine ever. It renders beautiful landscapes, complete with thousands of interactive 3D foliage. Texture detail and polygon counts are high, and modeling is first class. It's just a gorgeous game.
An improved version of the physics engine from MCM
is back in MCM2
Bike and rider are modeled separately, so if your bike's front wheel gets snagged
on a tree, your body will sail forward as the cycle spins uncontrollably and
crashes into the dirt at the foot of the offending plant.
The physics also impart a great feeling of depth in control. This is no simulation,
yet you have to pay attention to momentum and friction factors closely if you
want to have any chance of winning. And as before, you have the ability to perform
stunts such as the Big Kahuna while in mid-air that add both style, hilarity,
and some extra challenge.
you get down to the individual gameplay modes, things just get better. All the
modes from MCM
make a return here. Stunt Quarry has you and several opponents
performing stunts to collect points; the one who accumulates the most, wins.
Baja is off-road rally/checkpoint racing on motorcycles. Supercross is stadium
racing, the sort you see advertised sometimes on daytime television. Coming
this sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!
New to MCM 2
are Enduro, Nationals, and Pro-Circuit. Nationals are essentially elaborate, outdoor Supercross tracks. Pro-Circuit is a career mode in which you gain money for races, money that (in a nice touch) goes not only to repairing vehicles, but also towards medical bills.
The star, though, is Enduro. If Baja is like a rally race, then Enduro is
the outdoor equivalent to the vehicular lunacy of Midtown
. Enduro has you racing through checkpoints that follow routes through
populated areas such as trailer parks, farms, diamond mines, South American
airstrips, and ski resorts. You might find yourself going neck and neck with
the competition, when suddenly the bike next to you gains the lead. You cross
a highway, and as your opponent gets orbited by a passing station wagon, you
swerve to avoid a big rig. Then you go over a small hill, sail through the air,
and land...lining up perfectly with the next checkpoint as a biplane buzzes
the water tower next to you. It's great. In fact, Enduro is one of the best
racing styles ever. I haven't played such a well realized, deep, madcap racing
type since the venerable Stunts
came out in the early nineties.
The rest of the modes, while not as immediately engaging as Enduro, have their
own considerable charms. The strategy and maneuvering skill required by the
Supercross and Nationals events make them obsession material. Baja provides
off road practice that's good preparation for the tougher Enduro races. Stunt
quarry provides some of the most entertaining, funniest times you're likely
to have until the next Monkey Island
game, and Pro-Circuit ties them
all together nicely to give you a real feel of an up-from-nothing career from
redneck Enduro racer to world-renowned Supercross champion.
Motocross Madness 2
takes Motocross Madness
from pretty to gorgeous,
gives it some newer, smother moves, and throws some new hobbies at it, even
a track editor. Like Freespace 2
Age of Empires 2
, it's really
just a perfected version of what was already very good. Still, it's the best
time you're likely to have in this genre. You owe it to yourself to try Motocross
. Besides, your testicles will thank you.