Power Gig: Rise of the SixString Review

We Will Get Fooled Again.

There is a tactic that women of average or slightly above average aesthetics employ in order to make themselves appear more desirable to the opposite (or sometimes same) sex. It's a method known as "the fat, ugly chick friend". Essentially, the average girl stands next to their unattractive friend and become more alluring by relative context. Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But that's not the point here. The point is that Power Gig does for Rock Band 3 what thicker women with cat sweaters have been doing for their just slightly prettier friends for decades.

It is such a bad game that it makes other games in its genre seem that much better. The only thing that Power Gig: Rise of the String will leave you with is a deeper appreciation of Rock Band and a new found respect for Guitar Hero. It ranks high up on the list of shameful rhythm games, right next to Rock Revolution (no relation to us). From its gimmicky and chintzy plastic guitar to its piss poor interface, there is almost nothing redeeming about this game.

Gameplay is your standard affair rip-off of the now traditional set of colored buttons with the new addition of a... ahem... ”real” guitar and the chance to learn (*snicker*) how to play it... BWHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man, I'm sorry, but the only thing that you'll "learn" from the game's power chord mode is the most basic of basic 2-note power chord structures. And there is little to no challenge from the regular mode, even on the hardest settings.

The calibration mechanics are completely retarded. I'm talking severe "Down Syndrome working at the movie theater taking tickets for the rest of your life" retarded. They flash a crosshair on the screen and tell you to change the calibration by milliseconds until a clicking sound lines up with the flash. Milliseconds? Are you f***ing kidding me? Do they really think people are going to be able to tell the difference between -5ms and +5ms? Without a proper calibration system, the game just breaks down completely and there's no real point to playing.

There's a huge laundry list of issues with Power Gig beyond all the ones I've mentioned, like the fact that you need to buy a special pedal to effectively use your special rock star skills on the drum kit or that a Guitar Hero controller works better than the one that comes with the game or the setlist of mostly modern, whiny quasi-rock (John Mayer?!?! F***ing Really?!?!). There is the inclusion of one decent Eric Clapton song, though, but that's about it.

Beyond that, the only other redeeming factor I could think of is that the guitar can actually be used as a guitar, which makes it a somewhat decent novelty if you've got a band or if you perform music publicly. I've started keeping it on stage with me just in case I break a string on my Hello Kitty Fender in the middle of an actual gig performed with real ultimate power. But beyond the novelty factor and that one Clapton song, there's not much to Power Gig: Rise of the Six String.