Mamma is STILL a pratt!
With the promise of more blood, mayhem, gore, bile, violence and warm fuzzy
feelings we present ReLoaded
. Gremlin's sequel to last year's hit
has been redone, revamped,
reprogrammed, and released. Remain seated! Resume reading! Regardless of
is repetative, redundant, and regurgative. (OK,
In case you know nothing about Loaded
, it is a
top-down shooter where you play one of 6 homicidal maniacs blasting their
way off a prison planet. The game was low on plot, high on gore, and
chock-full 'o firepower. It also got boring fairly quickly. Reloaded
despite a whole new game engine, has very few improvements on the original
and, in some ways, is even worse.
The (sick) character design has stayed up to par, with four from the old
game (Mamma, Cap'n Hands, Bounca, and Butch). FWAnK the clown appears on
the packaging, but we haven't found him in the game yet. Butch and Bounca
have keen new outfits, but my favorite is Mamma's cute blue bunny suit!
Butch has turned in his flamethrower for a pair of UZI's and Bounca now has
a triple barrelled shotgun.
There are also two new characters. Sister Magpie is a deranged
robotic nun. In her intro movie, she carries a human head with a slot cut
into the top for donations. The Consumer looks a lot like Tank Girl
and she eats people. Her opening movie shows her preparing a delicious,
meaty treat. It's NOT for kids!
The new engine includes true 3D landscapes, and a 'mostly' top down view
that shifts angles slightly to make sure your character is always visible.
The backgrounds are well texture mapped and look good with very few flaws.
They are also more widely varied than the original. The excellent zooming
feature works even better than before. The slight side angle makes the
characters more visible, and more animated. Unfortuantely, the animations
aren't very good and don't always match up with the backgrounds, making some of the characters
look like they are ice skating instead of walking or running.
The lanscaped backgrounds have much more z-depth than before, and you can
gain and lose quite a bit of altitude. However, because of the overhead
angle, it is often very difficult to tell when you are climbing or
descending. Since you can only fire on a flat plane, it can be confusing
when all your shots are going over the enemies' heads or blasting the dirt
directly in front of them because you can't tell that you're standing on a
What little plot Loaded had seems to have been
discarded in Reloaded. Gone is the dark prison planet, exchanged for
other, well-lit planets. FUB (Fat Ugly Boy) has become CHEB (Charming
Handsome Erudite Bastard) and you still want to kill him. Why do you want
to kill him? We don't know... You're a deranged mass-murderer and you've
already escaped from prison. The universe should be your oyster. But you're
trying to kill him anyway. Some unexplained person or group is sending you
on missions after him. The first mission is to collect little squirming
green grubs on the surface of a planet and give them to a 20 foot tall
guitar player so you can cross his bridge (meanwhile destroying everything
in your path). Essentially, there's no plot here at all.
And the mazes (oh the mazes!). Gremlin didn't fix one of my chief
complaints last time. This is an ACTION game! I don't want to spend hours
drawing maps and getting lost in twisty corridors. But the mazes are back,
and with little elevators and other 3D additions, they are even more
difficult to get through than before.
The best part of Reloaded is the same as Loaded: The firepower. If you can live long enough,
there are plenty of power-ups to satisfy any trigger-happy gamer. Each
character has a different weapon and smartbomb to play around with.
Reloaded simply shoots at its target . . . and misses. Its a rehash
of the same game, with the same problems. It has even less plot, and less
of the intriguing dark mood that the first one had. Some of the graphics
are better, but some are not. And it's still boring after your 10,000th
Before you pay REtail for REloaded, you should REconsider.