And now, the GR Interview of the Week.
What Did I Do To Deserve This, My Lord!? 2
(or WDIDTDTML2, whichever's easier) is, at its core, a god game where you assume the role once again as the God of Destruction, armed with a mighty pickaxe that can destroy the soil underneath the kingdom you're ready to demolish and assume command over. So, in order to get more insight into this title, I've asked Badman
to my office to discuss the finer points of playing through the game. Thanks for joining me, Badman
: My pleasure, you half-witted weakling.
: So, can you tell me what this is actually all about?
: I have summoned my good buddy, the God of Destruction, back again because pesky humans like yourself have swarmed back into my world in force. Your kind is more a pest than a threat, especially to me and my confidant GoD. You annoyances come into my base and start killing our d00ds, and it's NOT very cool, you hear me!?
Any kid nowadays can get themselves a license to come after me and my super-cool friend, and we're not gonna take it anymore! I WILL get my kingdom back!
: I see. Can you tell me how it is that you've created your base? I would assume it's a long and arduous process to build such a palace from the ground up...
: Stop right there, you weak pantywaist. We don't build up, we dig
! Every hero follows me around trying to get me as a trophy, so it's no point trying to hide it. We start in a cave and head downward, raising up our minions along the way from the soil itself! Imagine the fear when a group of puny, insolent humans like the puffy kids Ami and Yumi (I've always hated their infectious rhythms and stinging pop lyrics, by the way) venture down into my lair and find themselves staring into the teeth of a hungry swarm of Omnoms!
When the soil's just right, you can even summon a dragon, or an Obese Lizardman
, and believe me, you don't wanna fight one of those
guys. I remember one time good ol' GoD brought up one of those bastards right next to me, and he started licking his chops, and I wet my robe...
: Never mind that. So how does the God of Destruction you've summoned actually dig so deep underground?
: My dear coward, he commands the power of a godly pickaxe! He demolishes any blocks of soil in the way, and summons wonders like the American Slimemoss and Pure Spirits to develop the OTHER soil and summon even more frightening tools to obliterate your kind with. And with me helping along the way, it's easy for him to use without any problems. No matter what “heroes” want to come after me, all we have to do is dig deeper, and he will bring up more of the long list of roughest, toughest, most badass baddies this side of Hell itself. We might even dig deep enough one day and then... *erupts into maniacal laughter*
: *ahem* Well, what do you have to say to your critics who say the experience is short and somewhat monotonous, with very little actual strategy involved?
: I'd say they don't know what they're talking about! Sure, it's not really that long of a game, but there are a lot of heroes that need killing, and then of course, reviving as skeletons for my army! And did you ever play that Plants vs. Zombies
game? Well, you can play in Badman's Chamber, where you can fool around with a dungeon set to your own specs and create a DREAM dungeon, filled with all the monsters a God could want. It's like a beautiful garden... that can EAT you!
: So then, would you recommend this game to anyone?
: Well, we're a little old-school, but that's nothin' to be scared off by. We're classic, we're pixel-perfect, and we're funny! Did you hear the one about the Overlord that killed all the heroes in the world? He went... uhh, hang on, I know how this one ends... it was something about a head on a pike and a squirrel with an accent...
: You're not always that funny, you know.
: Shut up.