Haiku Friday Independence Day Edition

Happy 4th of July to all of our American readers! Ah, there's nothing quite like a weekend of binge drinking and eating coupled with the misuse of explosives to remind us what makes this country great. *Cue Team America Theme Song*

Now onto this weeks Haiku Friday Prize:

Some of you out there may be old enough to remember a little show called Mystery Science Theater 3000. The plot was essentially that there was a guy trapped on a space station who had to watch horrible movies and make witty quips about them along with his robot friends. Personally, I was a big fan. I'd watch their marathons on Comedy Central every Thanksgiving.

MST3K has been off the air for quite a few years now, but some of the ...

Product of the day: Project Sustain

Having trouble figuring out where to keep your DS during a hacky sack sessions? Do you wish you had an eco-friendly alternative to all the synthetically made console cases you need to get your Wii from one place to another? Project Sustain has the solutions.

These guys are hoping to help reduce global impact caused by making a console by making gamers a little more green. To that extent they've made some eco-consious carrying cases for the DS Lite, DSi and the Wii. The DS Eco Travel case, Eco-Multi-Pack along with their Wii Messenger bag are all made out of organic cotton materials and hemp, so please forgive them if they smell a little bit like the Art Teacher's office, and 99% of these materials are post-consumer recycled. The multi-pack even comes ...

Paperwork Day!

Other than recording the podcast (Yes, a day early. Damn you, King George III !!!!) all I did today was financial spreadsheets and TPS reports. I hate paperwork day, so here's He-Man, Bollywood musical version so your brain hurts as much as mine.

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Teknocreations InCharge

Product-A-Day looks at the InCharge for 360 from Teknocreations. Just in time, too, saving me from the dreaded horror of corded controllers.

I have never experienced the 360's red-ring-of-death. Which is surprising because I have one of the very first 360's off the line, fresh from launch day almost four years ago. Yes, it's really been that long.

I also had the rechargeable battery pack kit from Microsoft, which, at 3 1/2 years old, was dying. The lithium-ion batteries were totally shot, one couldn't hold a charge at all, and the other could only play for about 40 minutes, even fully charged, before it died. (Note to Prius owners - you guys are so screwed in a few years)

I lost ...

The Architecture Of Computer Games

Snooty British magazine, The Architects' Journal, has let their sense of humor briefly out for a jog and published a top ten list of video game architecture reviews.

How can one set foot in the gemutlich Castle Wolfenstein without being transported into a medieval fairytale? This Bavarian gem, with its pretty Romanesque keep, is marred only by the hordes of (sometimes zombified) Nazi stormtroopers. Currently home to a high-security prison, the schloss is situated high on a mountain so access is only via a Where Eagles Dare-style cable car. A glance at the floor plan reveals a curiousity: the medieval architect - thought to be Hans Grosse - committed himself to a near-endless iteration of the swastika motif.

Full article ...

Facebook Manners And Haiku Friday

This week's iron haiku ingredient: Facebook! Do you give good Facebook or are you a wet blanket? I'm going to go change my status to single and see if my wife notices.

This week's prize: A shirt and totebag from the 2009 Game Developers Conference. For the new folks: All replies below should be in the form of haiku. You have all weekend. Best haiku winner will be chosen on Monday.

Vox Pop of the Month (May 2009)

"You don't respawn in real life!"

Featuring a line from the winner's Vox Pop is a good idea, right? Hmm... I might just do that from now on. And I must say that oneshotstop really put out all the stops and has written one of the best creative writing pieces to date in the Vox Pop, whether or not he intended to do so or not.

Quote of the Month:

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Uh, did I mention there's a spectacularly beautiful lady in distress?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll be right there.
- Ghostbusters: The Video Game (2009)

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Brutal Thoughts With Jack Black

I myself am really looking forwared to Tim Schafer's newest game, Brutal Legend. Thought you might like the little video EA sent to me today.

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Best Of E3 Awards Winners

Once again, GR backs the official Game Critics awards, in which I was one of the judges. While I agree with some of these winners, I feel some of my fellow judges may have been smoking the crack. I'm looking at you, Sessler.

Best of Show
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
(Naughty Dog/Sony Computer Entertainment America for PlayStation 3)

Best Original Game
Scribblenauts
(5TH Cell/Warner Bros Interactive Entertainment for Nintendo DS)

Stadium-Sized Game Screen

Apparently the video director for the Jonas Brothers is a bit of a gamer, and managed to find time to give himself a rather unique perk during the concert tour.

Yep, he hooked his 360 up to the 160x72 foot video screen inside the new Cowboys Stadium. Pic and video via EngadgetHD.

And an update on the missing podcast: The server somehow lost it. If we can't recover it, we'll have it recreated and up sometime tomorrow. At least I finally got the video player fixed.

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The League of Extraordinary Gamers and Haiku Friday

Before we get to this weeks Haiku Friday contest, we'd like to take this opportunity to announce a very special Summer long event that you're gonna love. Every Monday night in July and August we'll be hosting a Monday Night Gaming event that I have dubbed, "The League of Extraordinary Gamers". This is going to be your chance to take on your favorite GR staffers in their favorite games. Myself, Nick or Duke will be hosting each week and we'll be joined (hopefully) by some of our staff writers as well.

We're still ironing out all the detail, but for now here's what you can look forward to in July:

July 6th: Left 4 Dead with Blake

July 13th: Forza 2 with Duke

Vox Pop of the Month (April 2009)

Also known as Vox Pop Part 1 Anti-Laziness Fine I'll Do It Finally Totally Awesome Fun Time.

Why just Part 1? Because I will be doing May's Vox Pop next week as well. With no more E3 blowback, I can finally concentrate on the many other tasks I have at hand like this one. Of course, my other tasks include playing Rock Band: Unplugged (and Xenogears), but still!

Quote of the Month: "Hey, if Activision like it, then they should have put a ring on it. Oh great, not Beyonce is going to sue me too." - Tim Schafer (reacting to Activision's lawsuit against Brutal Legend)

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Winner: Squiggy

Best Of E3 Awards

As you know, we stopped giving out serious Best of E3 awards a couple years back, and started endorsing the official Game Critics Awards instead. Well the nominees are in and I'll be voting tomorrow.

Best of Show
- Brütal Legend (Double Fine Productions/EAP for PS3, Xbox 360)
- Mass Effect 2 (BioWare/Electronic Arts for Xbox 360, PC)
- Modern Warfare 2 (Infinity Ward/Activision for PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
- Splinter Cell Conviction (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft for Xbox 360)
- Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (Naughty Dog/SCEA for PS3)

Best Original Game
- Alan Wake (Remedy/MGS for ...

Vault-Tec\'s Guide to Post-Nuclear Intimacy

Alright, so I was doing some cleanup in my office and I stumbled across this old press kit for Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel. What treasures lurked inside this metal box?

Most intriguing was a strange black box labeled "Vault-Tec's Guide to Post-Nuclear Intimacy" - I couldn't figure out what it was. Some research led me to discover that it was something called a "VHS tape" and that it was some sort of video player.

It seemed awfully large for a video player, but this was old tech after all. The two white dials on the underside were difficult to turn and seemed to do nothing, perhaps the unit needed recharging? In ...

Haiku Friday!

Alright! I had some additional stuff ready to go, but it didn't work. Doesn't matter because Haiku Friday is awesome enough in itself. At least the flash panel thingy is finally working (ish). Oh, and let me clear up some rules.

We don't check read the entries until Monday, so "Haiku Friday" is really just more of a starting point. You have the whole weekend.

We read all your haiku (yes, the plural of haiku is haiku) but your first one is weighted heavily and later entries are regarded with suspicion.

Any deviation from the very simple rules of haiku disqualifies you. Google it. Winner gets the Sabateur shirt I brought back from E3.

Going Up?

This video was made for the elevators in The Standard Hotel in New York City. It runs the other way when you're going down. Mildly NSFW.

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It\'s My Wedding Anniversary

So I'm out of here. Got reservations at a fancy restaurant. You'll just have to be satisfied with...

world record setting hummingbird foreplay. For hummingbird porn, you'll need special access.

Meet The Engineer

In real life. Yes, this guy is building his own autonomous turrets, and frankly, it's amazing. If you go to his site and check out more details, it can even recognize targets by shape.

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Just Another Manic Monday

With my laptop busted, I had to play email catch-up today as I have no desktop at home. Over 600 of them. On the other hand, I found a replacement screen on Ebay for $80, so back to normal soon.

Although I forgot to announce Haiku Friday, uncletiki captured the spirit of the thing best with his reflective haiku, and thus, he wins the Alan Wake T-shirt I brought back from E3. Sorry ohsostupid, i would have loved to give it to you, but your Alan Wake Haiku had the wrong number of syllabubbles.

Finally, anybody catch Conan? He answers the question of whether the backdrop on his new set was swiped from Super Mario Brothers.

Back From E3

So how much walking does a journalist have to do to cover E3? Well, according to Personal Trainer Walking, it takes 42,280 steps.

The pic is from the final day, Thursday June 4th, which works out to just about 6 miles. Total for the show? 21.1 miles. I started off well behind Blake in PT: Walking, because he rode his bike to work (May I point out that biking is not walking, Blake?), but now I'm well ahead. Challenge on, biatch.

I managed to bust my laptop at E3 by closing it up on an earbud, cracking the screen. I cannot describe how depressing that is. It's also the reason I was unable to blog yesterday.

Want to know all about E3? There's no better way than to head over to ...

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