I Wear My Sunglasses At Night…And Day…And To Sleep…And… Review

Blade Info

genre

  • N/A

players

  • 1 - 1

Publisher

  • Activision

Developer

  • N/A

Release Date

  • 01/01/2001
  • Out Now

Platform

  • GBA
  • PS

rating

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night…And Day…And To Sleep…And…

About a million years ago, a great action movie titled Blade was released.
A million years (more like 3-yrs) is a long time to wait to capitalize on a
popular movie, so when I became aware of this game’s release I asked, “Why now?”
Then after playing I simply asked, “Why?”

Blade is dark. Not dark as in “evil” or dark as in Wesley Snipes’ complexion.
I mean dark as in “can’t see my hand in front of my face” dark. My first instinct
when starting this game was to adjust the brightness of my T.V. I did so, and
the scene in front of me failed to improve. Instead of complaining, I remembered
that Blade never takes his shades off, so technically, I was seeing things
like he would. Or wouldn’t, in this case. Honestly, even with brighter visuals,
the lackluster gameplay places this one straight in the recycle bin.

You play as Blade, vampire killer. Your mission? Kill all bloodsuckers!
The game takes place before the movie, so his trusty partner Whistler, who died
on camera, assists Blade in the game. Whistler guides you through your
various tasks via headset radio, Solid Snake style. The banter between Whistler
and Blade is amusing and surprisingly well-acted considering neither
Wesley Snipes nor Kris Kristofferson are involved. I’m pretty sure they could
have gotten Kris pretty cheap, though.

The game is your basic third-person action adventure with the camera trailing
along just behind the shoulder. The graphics are actually pretty decent…until
motion is applied. The framerate chugs along slowly and gets even slower whenever
more than one enemy is encountered. Remember, vampires run in packs, so you
can probably imagine this game has more slow-motion fight scenes than a Van
Damme movie.

Blade isn’t one to discriminate. Not only does he lay the smack down
on vampire lords and zombies, but he also knocks off their human lackeys with
punches, kicks, bullets, and, of course, blades. Which brings me to the next
problem.

Fighting
multiple species of attackers in this game is an exercise in frustration, not
only because the controls are anti-intuitive, but because certain weapons only
kill certain enemies. Sure, you can shoot all kinds of holes in a vampire, but
you better have the right ammo if you want him dead. So get used to switching
up your ammunitions real quick, because enemies rarely travel alone and it’s
not uncommon to have to deal with three different species simultaneously while
trying to cycle through the appropriate weapons. This is true to the Blade
movie/Marvel Comics mythos, but incessantly annoying as a gameplay element.

To its credit, there is quite a bit of brutal hack and slash going on. If you’re
just looking for an outlet for your aggression, Blade does the trick…barely.

When you add in the fact that the camera seems to have a mind of it’s own,
then factor in the slowdown, compounded with the fact that you can barely see
your opponents because it’s so freakishly dark, you have to wonder why you’re
wasting time on this painfully inadequate, near crap game. You could just play
The Crow: City of Angels. That’s 100% crap
, with no additives or preservatives.

To top things off, the sound effects are nothing to scream about and the generic
techno music blaring throughout the game quickly becomes annoying.

There is nothing here to justify Blade‘s development. Every aspect
of this game, from graphics to gameplay, has been done before, only better.
If you are a big fan of the movie, then by all means buy it. The movie I mean.
You wouldn’t like this game if you were The Daywalker himself.



REVOLUTION REPORT CARD

1
Rating
Faithful to the character
Lots of death and dismemberment
Counter-intuitive controls
Blade isn't equipped with a flashlight
License based on a movie older than I am