7 Things We Learned in the Overwatch Beta

I've been playing some of these MOBA-infused shooters lately, and I've learned a lot from them. In particular, the Overwatch beta and its collective online voice taught me a lot of things. Namely…

 

It's better than Battleborn

One thing unites all Overwatch players: Battleborn sucks. It's true. I've never played Battleborn, but I noticed that any time someone anywhere said anything positive about Battleborn, that person would be shouted down and overrun with cries of how superior Overwatch was, is, and forever shall be. Rest forever here in our hearts, Overwatch. You're not Battleborn.

 

There's no reason to play Battleborn

In much the same way there is no reason to play Dead or Alive or Mortal Kombat when there's a good Street Fighter game on the market, Overwatch completely erases every reason to play Battleborn.

 

You can wipe your ass with copies of Battleborn

Do you have Battleborn but no toilet paper or bidet (it's a hose for your butt)? Good news, there's Battleborn! True, it's so shitty that you might look at it and be unable to tell if you scooped 100% of the mess, but at least you got some use out of that fucking terrible Battleborn, right?

 

You guys, Battleborn is super bad

Just the worst.

 

Know What Game Sucks? Battlefield

I mean Battleborn. That was a typo.

 

I am going to beat the shit out of you

Hey you! Playing Battleborn? Fuck off with that shit, you piece of fuckoff fuckshit. Do not fucking say that you enjoy Battleborn or there will be fisticuffs rocketing from the motherfucking supernova known as Overwatch!

 

You can roll Battleborn in your blunt — a Battleblunt, as it has come to be called — and smoke it. But it probably won't even get you high

Drugs.