Metal Gear Solid: Social Ops: The Game Where You Just Can’t Lose

Tap the screen to win in Metal Gear Solid: Social Ops. Mei Ling spoke, Snake listened. I tapped the screen of my Docomo smartphone to move the dialogue. Snake had to sneak up behind a dangerous armed man and hold him upa tricky task for most soliders. Not Solid Snake though. The only thing I had to do was tap the screen. Flawless victory.

After the successful disarming and silencing of the sentry, Snake needed to sneak carefully from one hiding spot to the other. I tapped the screen, and Snake did this quickly. I'm going to repeat that: The only thing I did was tap the screen, and Snake was suddenly in the next hiding place. No skill or planning involved at all.

After another run-through of tapping to hold a man up and tapping to sneak—by hitting the same exact spot on the screen, no lessa tank appeared in a CG cinema. I fought it with icons that were on the screen, representing a card deck that I presumably have to buy. My guys beat the tank in their autobattle after I tapped the screen to start it.  I also tapped the screen to end it. I also threaten people now by telling them, "Don't make me tap your screen, homie."

After the fight, I was greeted with a Level Up screen and the game told me I had cleared the chapter. I seriously just tapped the bottom right corner of the screen, exclusively, from beginning to end. That was it. That was the whole thing. That's how I beat the Metal Gear Solid: Social Ops demo. "Well, it was getting really rough there until I decided to tap the touchscreen, eh heh heh heh. Thaaaaat turned the tide." I can't think of a way I could have lost this game. I don't think I could have died if I tried.

As you probably expected upon first hearing of this title, Metal Gear Solid: Social Ops is not the Metal Gear Solid you've come to know and love. It's Metal Gear characters and concepts intertwined with everything that makes "social gaming" and phone gaming a little ridiculous. That's not to say phone games are bad by default; there's just an awful lot of shovelware "tap the screen to win" crap for them. Sadly, Snake is now a part of the scheme.

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