“Ya Ne Dumayu Vy Mojaette Govorit Po Russski” Review

“Ya Ne Dumayu Vy Mojaette Govorit Po Russski”

Yuri: So tell me, ugly American boy: You want fly plane? You like MIG-29,
perhaps F-22? You want best American plane? No? This insane! You must fly proper
aircraft! You must fly aircraft of mother Russia! You must be man! You must
drink Vodka! You must fly MiG-29! If you no fly MiG… You are ugly bitch monger!

Mitch: Damn! Be Cool! Hey, (to camera in mock Russian accent) Is it
not that all Russians are crazy?

Yuri: No, this not verifiable.

Mitch: Prove it dude! Prove to me that I should fly a Russian plane,
instead of good old American air-tech?

Yuri: This because any day, you go down to store. You look at game.
You buy game. You fly American plane in game. Here, you do same thing, but you
fly good Russian plane.

Mitch: Ok, I am mildly interested, is it any good?

Yuri: Is Good? Is GOOD? Is Fantastic! Is Incredible! Is… (SLAP! FALL!
SMACK!)

Mitch: Damn Russians with their drinking games. Vodka, stools, and slapping
each other, that’s all they live for… What ever will I now do? I must know more
about this game! The drunken Russian on the floor piqued my interest! Whom I
Gonna Call? (finger snapping) I know! I’ll ask JOHNNY B.! (Superman Music) (Swoop,
fly, swish, land)

Johnny B. : I thought I heard distress! Aha! You need to know about
NovaLogic’s MiG-29 Fulcrum don’t you?

Mitch: Oh Johnny B. ! Can you help me? (To the Camera) what the heck
does the B. stand for anyway?

Johnny B. : You’d be much happier not knowing. And now… I shall help
you! Behold! My Review! (Triumphant music)

Before mentioning anything else about this game, the graphics must get their
due credit. MiG-29 Fulcrum is a gorgeous game. The texture maps on all
of the planes are very highly detailed, the terrain is attractive and exaggerated
in height so that its more fun to fly low on your ingress to target.

Your own plane is a sight to behold though. I have not ever seen planes looking
this good in a sim before. The texture mapping is damned near photorealistic.
The planes also feature little touches like the ability to see yourself through
the canopy of the cockpit. Best off all, the inside of the MiG-29 features the
most detailed 3-D virtual cockpit ever seen in a flight sim. It actually looks
better than some 2-D cockpits in sims like Jane’s F-15.

MiG-29 Fulcrum even reflects the control panels on the canopy. In addition,
the game runs at a very high framerate despite its beautiful detail, seriously
embarrassing CPU hogging sims like the aforementioned F-15, or Longbow
2. A 3DFX is close to a requirement for this one, though.

Once you pick your mouth up off of the floor you might also begin to notice
the gameplay in MiG-29. It’s fun. Most other sims usually elicit a somewhat
more complex, err… different reaction. MiG-29 its just… fun. The gameplay feels
very reminiscent of Mission Studios Jetfighter 3 or FullBurn,
without the narrative depth. Slightly arcade-ish, accessible, in general a fun
little firefight. Aw heck, this game is a fun rehash of F-22 Lighting II,
Novalogic’s first polygonal 3D sim.

Now, the planes don’t move completely unrealistically and generally have a
moderately believable feel to them. The difference between MiG-29 and more complex
sims is simple:. You can jump in to this game, familiarize yourself with a few
controls, and kick afterburner within a few minutes, unlike more complex simulations
which require hours of study and an advanced degree in Aeronautical Engineering.

Most avionics systems are controlled automatically. The plane creates a shoot
list for you that may be cycled through, you actually never have to use you
radar for targeting or identification, its all done for you. Hell, your wheels
even automatically retract after you take off. The designers of this game realized
that they were making an arcade-ish “simulation” and designed missions that,
assuming you succeed, would make you a triple ace after 20 minutes of game time.

It really is not hard to kill your enemies, missiles usually work unusually
well (the reverse of which being that they are very hard to evade yourself),
and getting kills with the cannon is almost laughably to easy once you get in
range. The lack of realism shows most obviously in landings and takeoffs. You’ll
have a very, very easy time placing your MiG-29 back on terra firma. A lot of
this is due to the fact that you can take off and maintain flight at velocities
usually associated with falling like a brick.

But, whether or not this is a realistic or believable simulation of what it
is actually like to fly an MIG-29, it is still his an enjoyable romp through
them wild white clouds and the dainty blue sky.

Speaking of clouds;
MIG-29 features the thickest cloud level in recorded computer history, a trait
inherited from F-22 Lightning II. Actually, the engine featured in MIG-29
and F-16 Multirole Fighter (It’s sister game,
released simultaneously) is simply an updated version of the F-22 L2
engine.

Sound is good. There ain’t nothing spectacular in the audio department, but
there is nothing wrong there either. Much like the rest of the game the sound
satisfies but doesn’t warrant a letter home to your dead hamsters and other
assorted pets. I do have one problem with the music though. This is a game about
Russia, hell you can even have the control tower talk to you in Russian if you
want! So why is it that the music is generic American techno? Have the designers
of this game never listened to the music in “The Hunt For Red October”? Russian
themes could have been used to make some truly memorable music and lend some
much needed atmosphere to the game. Would a little mandolin have killed them?

The one really superb feature of the game is the included NovaWorld internet
gaming service. Using NovaWorld, internet multiplayer was smooth as silk even
using an older 28.8 modem. It was painless to set up and get into as well. Now,
any of you who have read the F-16 Multirole Fighter review may be wondering
why this review is, except for a few touches, a word for word duplicate. Here
is the reason: MiG-29 and F-16 MF are essentially the same game with a few different
items like texture maps and mission specifics. The planes really do fly remarkably
similarly.

To be a little cynical, NovaLogic is seems to be trying to milk as much cash
out of the critical game playing masses as possible. If NovaLogic had been just
a little less miserly they could have released both of these as the same game
and saved the buyer $50 in duplicate gaming.

So, in the overall estimation of the game there isn’t anything to scream in
pain about, and certainly nothing to moan in pleasure (with a Russian accent)
about. The game elicits a pleasant grin. Basically it all comes down to this:
MIG-29 is a good game for anyone who has never played a flight sim before, but
would like to fancy themselves zipping along at mach 2.5 preserving communism.
On the other hand, if you are a flight sim freak, you’d do better to look elsewhere
for your hyper realistic aerodynamic fix. Fulcrum is a solid game with impressive
graphics, perfect for the common, enforced, state-minded average Yuri.