Saw II: Flesh and Blood Review

Mommy, I wanna play a different game…

So I've asked a friend of mine to help me discuss this game, (not) live via satellite, the star villain of the entire Saw franchise, Jigsaw himself. Thanks for talking to me, Jigsaw.

[image1]Thank you for having me. How does the vest fit?

Not too shabby, a little tight around the shoulders and a little loose around the middle, but I'll get over it. So, you like to put people in "impossible to win" predicaments, right? How do you feel about the game that was developed based on your exploits?

Actually, I feel rather flattered. They have not sinned against the world… yet… but they have worked my essence into virtual form, and for that I am rather pleased. Hopefully it will help to spread the message of what I am capable of, which is showing the world how strong the human will really is. I want to push the limits of what we can do as a species, both mind and body. It is never a punishment, only an opportunity.

I see. Do you feel like they captured your good side then? How do you think the look of the world turned out?

It does look like me in there, but the whole package was just too… dark. It's one thing to want to scare people into a better life, but they have to be able to see what they have to do. Otherwise, the lesson is lost, just like their meaningless, drug-fueled, wasted lives. I don't believe I have ever used so much glow-in-the-dark paint to get a puzzle set up for a sinner.

[image2]And I don't appreciate the small list of items to work with. My subjects can utilize anything that's around them to find their way through my puzzles, and they couldn't pick up anything other than random keys, handmade lockpicks, and nails to work with. At least controlling your character and lit areas aren't too terrible.

So would that explain why all of the puzzles are so easy then? Or did you not have much inspiration after the Saw II movie?

Yeah, about that… I guess all of the movies got to me, because I had a few ideas that I've used before, and kind of… you know, lost step with what was going on. Maybe I'm just more used to piecing together a puzzle that explains something about the person, but here the "story" just wasn't much to work with. It's between the second and third movies in the series, which is when I started to get tired, and I just got sicker and sicker… guess it wasn't my best stuff. That combined with a LOT of blocked space left me with only a few options to work with.

And what about the fighting? How do you feel about that? *scratching* And why does my arm hurt?

Don't worry about that. The fighting wasn't my idea, and I don't care for it. I don't like to fight physically, as it's hard to do effectively in my current condition. But just pressing a single button in quick-time events is too simple. There is no thought there, no strategy, nothing to learn, not very interesting.

If I could go back and work that over I would try to *cough* assist the developers in finding out a way that would work more effectively instead of mindlessly pressing the button shown on the screen. It just feels cheap. Thank you for bringing that up, it will be made more… wieldy… in the future. That and you can only pick up a few items as weapons, it seems almost useless to give someone a broken crutch to use.

[image3]Wait, aren't you near death right now? Will you even be around to plan for the future? And why is my arm twitching on its own?

I told you not to worry. I might die, but the game will never end. Even if I am not around to see it, people will take up my method and teach the lessons to those in need.

What did I do to deserve this?!

You drank directly out of the milk carton last week, and you didn't mention it to anyone else. You will pay for your crimes. Plus, I had a little bit of rat poison left over from the last time we had an infestation in the garage. Don't worry, I do have an antidote for you.

Where is it?

It's in a small bottle that I've sewn into the bag of your left eye. The scalpel is on that nearby cart. You have poisoned the world around you… now you are the victim of that poison!

You're really running out of ideas, aren't you.

Shut up and die.