The Scariest Pokemon of All Time

With over 800 Pokemon out in the wild for trainers to collect, there’s bound to be some particularly creepy ones out there. Though the franchise is traditionally considered kid-friendly, the monsters on this list will make you think otherwise. From dead mothers to child abductors, the following are the scariest Pokemon that have ever been created. You’ll never look at your Game Boy Advance days the same ever again.

Scariest Pokemon – Cubone

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

Officially classified as the “Lonely Pokemon,” Cubone’s got a lot of baggage. That cool skull it wears on its head is actually the remains of its dead mother. Each Cubone misses its mom so much that it cries whenever it sees a full moon in the night sky, as this reminds it of its deceased parent somehow. This happens so often that the Pokemon actually stains its skull mask from all the crying it does. As depressing as all of this is, the most disturbing aspect lies in how every female is pretty much doomed to die when it gives birth. I feel bad for every Cubone ever.

Scariest Pokemon – Lampent

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

If Lampent is anything to go by, every human soul in the Pokemon universe is merely used as fuel for this creature. There is no afterlife, no heaven or hell, no higher plane of existence here. Humans live simply to give this monster its life. To make matters worse, its Pokedex entry states that it hangs around hospitals waiting for people to die. This means that as people are living out their last moments, they have to constantly be wary of any Lampent lurking just outside their room, patiently biding its time to eat your soul. Are you sure that you want to live in this world now?

Scariest Pokemon – Drifloon

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of Ken Sugimori/Nintendo

Drifloon is a cute little balloon Pokemon with hearts on its strings and a fluffy cloud on its head. Sounds pretty cute, right? This ghost and Flying-type monster is actually quite the opposite. According to one of its Pokedex entries, it “grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife.” It won’t drag away heavy children though, because that’s too much work. Suffice it to say, if you’re a Sinnoh kid, you should never go outside on an empty stomach.

Scariest Pokemon – Banette

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

Every Banette ever wants to hunt down the human that used to own it back when it was still a doll. Born out of pure hatred for the person that abandoned it, this creature is a manifestation of the dark energy that swirls around the Pokemon world. It hates its former owner so much that its willing to stick pins into its own body in order to lay curses upon him or her indefinitely. Banette is basically a twisted, dark version of Toy Story, one where Woody and his friends look on in horror as this creature eagerly sticks needles into itself with a smile on its face.

Scariest Pokemon – Phantump

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

So, each Phantump out there in the Pokemon world is basically a dead kid. Its Pokedex entry states that it is “possessed by the spirits of children who died in the forest” and that its “cries sound like eerie screams.” Its hard to be very cheerful when around one of these things, though Ash and his friends seem to have no problems with it, as evidenced above. Shouldn’t they be trying to help this Phantump find its parents or something?

Scariest Pokemon – Yamask

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

It seems as though Yamask should be classified as a plain-old ghost rather than a Ghost-type Pokemon. According to its Pokedex entry in Pokemon Black, each Yamask carries a mask because it “used to be its face when it was human.” As if that alone wasn’t creepy enough, these creatures look at their masks in their spare time and just cry their eyes out. How a human becomes a Yamask is totally unknown. Something tells us that we probably don’t want to find out.

Scariest Pokemon – Snubbull

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

Snubbull is a little pink dog Pokemon that some might argue is actually kind of cute. However, its Pokedex entries completely change this superficial perception. According to research, this species has an “active, playful nature,” one that entices “many women” to “frolic with it because of its affectionate ways.” Whatever this description implies is totally left to the interpretation of trainers. Here’s hoping that Nintendo messed up with the translation on this entry, as there no doubt a lot of people out there with ruined childhoods now.

Scariest Pokemon – Gourgeist

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

This laughing Halloween pumpkin Pokemon is happy for all the wrong reasons. Gourgeist’s hairlike arms are actually used to capture prey. Once ensnared, this monster sings a cheerful tune as its victim literally writhes in pain and screams for help. It actually likes torturing living things, quite possibly making it the most sadistic Pokemon ever created. Be thankful we don’t see these monsters run around in the real world come October.

Scariest Pokemon – Mimikyu

Scariest Pokemon

Image courtesy of TV Tokyo/Nintendo

Imagine being so ugly that anyone who sees you automatically dies. This is basically Mimikyu in a nutshell, a Pokemon that wears a Pikachu costume to attract friends and hid its real appearance from the world. According to reports from the in-game universe, a scholar once saw the monster’s true form and died from the shock it gave him. While lots of people may be willing to be friends with Mimikyu, dying may make them think otherwise.

Some creatures on this list undoubtedly flew well under censorship radars before they managed to make it to mass market. That can be interpreted as a good thing, though, as it gives the Pokemon universe some variety. Here’s hoping Nintendo will continue to satiate our longing for more creepy Pocket Monster backstories in the future. Just please don’t give us any more Cubones. Our hearts won’t be able to take it.