Steam Achievements
- Bestest Infiltrator - Win an Infiltration map
- Big Dipper - Earn all 21 stars in challenge mode
- Bipolar - Switch between Brian and Stewie 10 times in Story mode
- Bird Is The Word - Taunt 5 times in a row with Peter
- Boom Headshot - Kill 75 enemies with headshots
- Bunch of Chumps - Survive 15 waves of enemies in Multiverse Madness
- Cartoon Apocalypse - Survive 30 waves in Multiverse Madness
- Chicken Fight! - Complete the "Chicken Fight!" level
- Chickens In Space - Complete the "Chickens In Space" level
- Day Labor - Destroy all of the pinatas
- Employee of the Month - Kill Vernon
- First Kill - Successfully complete your first kill of a member of the opposing team in Multiplayer
- Grease Can't Save You Now - Win a Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy" match
- Handicapable - Complete the "Handicapable" level
- Head Shot - Kill an enemy with a single shot to the head
- Help From My Friends - Acquire any collectible special inventory items and use it 25 times in Story Mode
- How Do I Jump? - Kill yourself with a grenade or satchel charge
- IEDead - Kill 60 enemies with grenades/explosives
- It's All Greek To Me - Complete the "It's All Greek To Me" level
- Justified - Kill 500 enemies using Brian
- Kings of Quahog - Win a deathmatch mode (free-for-all or as a team)
- Little Dipper - Earn 10 stars in challenge mode
- Lockdown - Shut out the other team from scoring in Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy"
- Long John Peter - Complete the "Long John Peter" level
- Mort Will Now Lend You Credit - Buy everything available in the Store
- Mr. Unpopular - Select Meg as a character for a Multiplayer match
- Multi-kill - Perform a multi-kill with a melee weapon
- Multi-kill with grenade - Perform a multi-kill with a grenade
- No Cheese, Please - Complete the "No Cheese, Please" level
- No Place Like Home - Complete the "No Place Like Home" level
- Obsessed - Complete all secondary objectives
- One Shot Kills - Successfully kill an enemy with one shot
- Penny Pincher - Successfully collect $50,000
- Pervert - Hang around Quagmire in a baby costume for 30 seconds
- Pussy Whipped - Complete the "Pussy Whipped" level
- Roadhouse - Kill 3 members of the opposing team with a melee attack before you die in Multiplayer
- Santa's Sweatshop - Complete the "Santa's Sweatshop" level
- Scorched Earth - Burn the Amish pot fields
- Shut Up Meg - Kill Meg during a Multiplayer Match
- Something's Amish - Complete the "Something's Amish" level
- Stewie-nator - Kill 500 enemies using Stewie
- Teabag a D-Bag - Taunt a dead opponent with Quagmire in Multiplayer
- Teabaggin' - Successfully perform a taunt 25 times
- The Cleaner - Get a 10 kill streak in Deathmatch
- There Is No Cake - Unlock all other Achievements found in the game
- Ugly Tastes Terrible - Play poorly during the final showdown
- We Be Clubbing - Defeat 10 enemies with a melee weapon
- Wrecking Ball - Smash your opponent into something 20 times in the "Chicken Fight!" level
