Cheap kills and cheaper thrills. Review

Cheap kills and cheaper thrills.

I remember the day I got my driver’s license. I’ve even got a picture of it in

my wallet. I’m all big, innocent smiles with braces and glasses, so pleased that

someone’s finally given me a license to drive a huge piece of metal around in

a responsible way at reasonable speed limits. I had no plans of driving outrageously,

tearing up elementary school lawns, peeling out of my driveway at two in the morning

or racing other teenage idiots on two-lane roads.

Somehow, I don’t seem to have many memories of those times at all, just impressions

of speed, violence, and lots and lots of expletives. That’s why I kind of enjoy

Midway’s new RoadKill. It’s a mindless death-spree through

an industrial wasteland full of evil clowns, sleazy hookers and monster cars

with guns.

Even

though it’s easy to see RoadKill as derivative of titles like

GTA 3, Carmaggedon

and Twisted Metal, I see it as an appropriate

reinterpretation of those games. I’m sure those of you still gunning for that

elusive license will have a blast with RoadKill‘s senseless

violence and creatively degenerative story. Between bong rips, that is.

On the other hand, RoadKill is not a game that seems suitable

for anyone other than those in the midst of their own teenage wasteland. If

you’ve already vicariously experienced gratuitous sex and violence playing Twisted

Metal while blasting Marilyn Manson, RoadKill won’t offer anything

new. On top of that, the game RoadKill is most clearly comparable

to, GTA 3, is a masterpiece, while RoadKill

is just a piece of mediocrity.

Set in a plague-stricken world at the end of civilization where ruthless gangs

rule the only three cities left, RoadKill draws pretty heavily

on The Road Warrior theme. You play Mason Strong, a humorless silent

type obsessed with vengeance in a world where the weak are picked off the streets

by buzzards. In true GTA style, you’ve got to work your way

up from the bottom of the gangland hierarchy to get a shot at killing your nemesis,

Axl.

The story is played out through cut-scenes in between missions. These can

be divided into three parts. Part one: Gang-boss or gang-boss’ crony makes lascivious

advances towards sleazy hookers or threatens a spineless underling. Part two:

Gang-boss or gang-boss’ crony gives you instructions and background. Part three:

Gang-boss or gang boss’ crony continues making lewd advances on equally lewd

hookers or kills spineless crony. As insipid as this seems, the writers did

a good job of making the situations humorously amoral and lurid. The situational

conventions the writers used aren’t unique, but at the same time they clearly

had fun with them and as a result the story is surprisingly enjoyable.

The in-game tone is consistent with the cut-scenes as you cruise your war-machine

through wrecked city streets. The controls are very simple and appropriate for

a game based on mindless destruction and violence – you can accelerate, brake,

hand-brake, and use primary and secondary weapons. Your standard primary weapon

is a weak machine gun that never runs out of bullets and you can eventually

deck yourself out with gattling guns, cluster rockers, air-strikes and more.

Also, every car (and there are a LOT of cars) comes equipped with a rear-mounted

machine gun that is usually manned by your wing-man, who will shoot at any hostiles

in range. However, when precision is called for, you take control of the mounted

cannon yourself for some mindless regulation.

With all those weapons you’ve gotta have lots of stuff to kill, and RoadKill

certainly delivers in this department. Pedestrians are never off-limits and

many are armed. Had a hard day at work? Run down a few of these suckers and

watch with cathartic glee as they struggle to free themselves from the spikes

mounted on the front of your car. Or, grunt primitively as a prostitute flaps

helplessly in the wind while she gets dragged along in your wheel well. Did

I mention this wasn’t a game for kids? I mean, it is, but only for the

evil ones.

And

I haven’t even mentioned all the cars you’ll have to blow up. Blasting other

cars is pretty much the name of the game. As cars take punishment, they’ll become

damaged in cool ways, smoking like Cheech

and Chong before ultimately exploding. When this happens they’ll spew valuable

parts that you can grab and sell to upgrade your own car.

The A.I. isn’t exactly sophisticated, but neither is anything else in RoadKill.

Your CPU opponents manage to do what matters, and that’s drive around real fast

and shoot at you.

Also, new cars and weapons can be accessed by finding the appropriate blue-prints

and parts. Unfortunately, RoadKill‘s lasting value isn’t quite

great enough to search for these components. The gameplay, while fun and mindless,

gets old fast (takes a minute to learn, but a half-hour to master), and you

can trick your cars out plenty without having to search for hidden items. It

lacks the depth of GTA and the sophistication of Twisted

Metal, leaving a somewhat unsatisfying residue.

RoadKill is very dark and grainy across all three platforms

(which look and play roughly identically), though this graphical grit fits the

feel and doesn’t detract from the experience. Gritty game, gritty look. Makes

sense. What doesn’t make sense is the lack of any sort of collision

damage. Go ahead and ram into a wall. Not a scratch! Now try smashing into another

car. Not a dent! Taking the arcade route is fine when it comes to control and

physics, but how about some more realistic damage?

RoadKill‘s audio mimicry of GTA 3 wears

thin, as you have a handful of radio stations to choose from and only one plays

real, licensed hits. The rest are fake rap, fake metal, and noisy talk stations.

The gun noises are jarring and the explosions are okay.

If you live with your mother, smoke pot, watch wrestling, can’t vote, and

love The Cramps

or have a big brother who does, you will likely have a blast with this game.

Not only can you get your violence fix by yourself on a Wednesday night, but

you and your friends can have fun wrecking each other in the 4-player split-screen.

It doesn’t have the finesse, complexity or scope of GTA, but

few games do. Sometimes, the simple things in life are enough.