REVIEWSFunk of Titans Review
It’s always particularly tough to find the funk of a game when it already doesn’t have much rhythm.
Citizens of Earth Review
Do you like turn-based RPGs? Do you enjoy laughter? Does your hair contain enough product to qualify you to be VP of an entire planet? If so, then you'll enjoy playing Citizens of Earth.
I've had a long-standing rule to avoid getting involved in any sort of crowdfunded activities. I didn't donate to Shadowrun or Wasteland, but I did buy and enjoy both of them (I'm plugging both of those games right now, just so you know they're good). I haven't...
Europe's E3 is just a few weeks away, and honestly we cannot wait. The summer of 2012 will forever be known as the summer gaming died a little bit.... just a little. Holy crap have we been bored! There's been a drought of gaming news and energy since everyone cleared out of Los Angeles back in June.
That means it's all up to Gamescom 2012 to bring the energy back for the Fall season. Here are five announcements we just have to see out of Cologne to rekindle our relationship with video games.
Two Words: New. Hardware.
Everyone was waiting for the reveal of the next-generation at the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Everyone was disappointed. All the rumors, speculation, and guarantees of new hardware amounted to absolutely nothing.
That left us with blue balls and it's up to Germany to give us a hand. Sure, many of the attendees will be far too drunk to remember any announcements or even what they ate for breakfast, but that doesn't mean we won't be watching at home. Microsoft and Sony owe it to us.
We put up with the Kinect and the Move. Don't leave us out to dry again.
Wii U Launch Details
I'm not sure Nintendo will see fit to reveal the date, price, or launch (window) lineup for their next home console at Gamescom. The house that Mario built tends to hold those details for their own special ceremony, but after the 3DS XL was revealed over a streaming webcast, I have nothing to go on.
We could find out when the Wii U will launch from some kind of fortune cookie or an elaborate game of telephone that eventually ends in "Miyamoto wears pink underwear in September."
Literally, anything could happen, so why not at Gamescom?
Grand Theft Auto V Gets A Release Date
I don't need to explain why this would be a huge announcement for the industry at Gamescom. When the teaser trailer was revealed, I think the world stopped turning for about a minute and a half.
GTA is a worldwide phenomenon, so more details at Gamescom certainly makes sense to me. And it doesn't have to be a release date. It could be another trailer. It could be sparse details about the characters we saw in the original teaser trailer. It could be...
Please just give us something... anything. We're dying out here.
PS1 Classics On Your PlayStation Vita RIGHT NOW
Please, someone... anyone! Get up on stage at Sony's press conference and say something about the PlayStation Vita hardware getting a firmware update AT THAT VERY MOMENT.
It doesn't have to be PS1 Classic support either, just something that's actually fun and entertaining for us early adopters. I just want one of those moments where I can go "oh shit!" and turn on my Vita right then and there for a new update.
Well... I'd probably have to charge the battery first and then download the update... which will be like two hours.... Still! It'd be pretty exciting!
I can't stress this enough. We need something to look forward to. Even if someone gets up on stage and lofts a prototype design above their head....
Sony and Microsoft figured they'd make it through the 10-year hardware cycle and reap tons and tons of money from motion control peripherals. They were obviously, horribly, irrefutably wrong. We need new hardware and we need it fast. There's a great software lineup to close out this generation, but it's time for the next home consoles so that the PC doesn't run away with technology.
Gamescom, it's up to you. This is the slowest, deadest time I've ever seen in the video game industry.