Serious: The Water Pistol Is MGSV: The Phantom Pain’s Most Potent Weapon

I know what you're thinking. "There's no way this man is serious", you thought to yourself after reading the title of this article. Well, I am serious, and I'm ready to explain why you need to start using Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain's Water Pistol more often.

Made available about halfway through the campaign, the Water Pistol is unlocked for a mere 1,000 GMP. At first, it appears to be a joke weapon placed in the game by Hideo Kojima for a good laugh. Only espionage masters trained in the art of MacGyver and those who have been sprayed in the face by a Super Soaker truly understand its power.

Tossed into your deployment loadout for far less than any other sidearm, the Water Pistol is a trusty weapon that any true Big Boss should master. It isn't conventional by any means, but offers a wide range of tactical options in addition to nourishment during long travels through Afghanistan and Africa. Let's look at what this "water-based weapon system" can do.

One common situation that you might find yourself in often is where a guard is defending a position that counters your intended path. In these situations, the Water Pistol can be used similar to the Magazine. The guard will hear a splatter on the floor nearby, approach it to investigate further, and provide you with an opportunity make your move. However, unlike the Magazine there is no trace left behind, just some freshly hydrated shrubs.

Few things in this world are more annoying than watching your enemies enjoy the lighting and heat of a well-made campfire. No Colt 1911 or Bionic Arm is going to help you in this situation. Thankfully, the Water Pistol comes to save the day. Spray that campfire with a healthy dose of H2O and watch the guards complain about how cold it is outside. While they're doing that, you can sneak right on by through the newly cast darkness.

Electronics similarly stand no chance to the might of the Water Pistol. Instead of flipping the switch to turn off a generator, which allows guards to restart it, spray it with what it fears most: water. The Water Pistol will fry those circuits like a ham sandwich and make sure that nobody is getting WiFi access in the near future. Those guards will be wishing they went with Verizon.

 

What may surprise you most is that the water pistol can be used for holding up enemies. It looks an awful lot like a real firearm, and enemies won't dare see if you're clowning around. So, while it can't directly incapacitate enemies, it can be employed to threaten enemies up close before interrogating them for information on where the nearest Dunkin' Donuts is located. As usual, you can use CQC to dispatch of them. Just be sure to throw them into the wall like a PlayStation controller to ensure that they're knocked out for more than a minute.

If you are in close range and don't want to draw noise or suspicion from a professional hold up, the Water Pistol can be shot in the face of the enemy to disorient them for around three seconds. Timed correctly, you can continue spraying them in the face for more than a minute while yelling at them to stop jumping on the kitchen counter. Oh, right, we're talking about soldiers, not cats. Once you're ready to proceed to phase 2, you can CQC them and give them a noogie. They'll beg to join your forces at Mother Base after all the water torture.

Speaking of its disorienting effects, the Water Pistol can be used against several of the game's main bosses. Without spoiling anything, they hate water and won't be happy if you spray them with your Water Pistol before landing a well aimed shot on them.

On top of all these uses, the Water Pistol is one of the only infinite ammo options in the game. You will never have to supply drop a barrel of water. Instead, it magically recharges through the power of nanomachines every time you reload. This makes it the best weapon in the game for destroying land mines as you don't have to waste ammunition taking them out.

In a world ruled by bullets and tranquilizer darts, the Water Pistol shows us that a quick trip to Walmart could be the best tactical decision you ever make in your life. When it comes down to it, the Water Pistol is so well-rounded and effective that you can reasonably argue that it's better than the Wu Pistol's ranged tranquilizer darts. Super Soaker employees must be proud.

 

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