I know what you're thinking. "There's no way this man is serious", you thought to yourself after reading the title of this article. Well, I am serious, and I'm ready to explain why you need to start using Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain's Water Pistol more often.
Made available about halfway through the campaign, the Water Pistol is unlocked for a mere 1,000 GMP. At first, it appears to be a joke weapon placed in the game by Hideo Kojima for a good laugh. Only espionage masters trained in the art of MacGyver and those who have been sprayed in the face by a Super Soaker truly understand its power.
Tossed into your deployment loadout for far less than any other sidearm, the Water Pistol is a trusty weapon that any true Big Boss should master. It isn't conventional by any means, but offers a wide range of tactical options in addition to nourishment during long travels through Afghanistan and Africa. Let's look at what this "water-based weapon system" can do.
One common situation that you might find yourself in often is where a guard is defending a position that counters your intended path. In these situations, the Water Pistol can be used similar to the Magazine. The guard will hear a splatter on the floor nearby, approach it to investigate further, and provide you with an opportunity make your move. However, unlike the Magazine there is no trace left behind, just some freshly hydrated shrubs.
Few things in this world are more annoying than watching your enemies enjoy the lighting and heat of a well-made campfire. No Colt 1911 or Bionic Arm is going to help you in this situation. Thankfully, the Water Pistol comes to save the day. Spray that campfire with a healthy dose of H2O and watch the guards complain about how cold it is outside. While they're doing that, you can sneak right on by through the newly cast darkness.
Electronics similarly stand no chance to the might of the Water Pistol. Instead of flipping the switch to turn off a generator, which allows guards to restart it, spray it with what it fears most: water. The Water Pistol will fry those circuits like a ham sandwich and make sure that nobody is getting WiFi access in the near future. Those guards will be wishing they went with Verizon.
What may surprise you most is that the water pistol can be used for holding up enemies. It looks an awful lot like a real firearm, and enemies won't dare see if you're clowning around. So, while it can't directly incapacitate enemies, it can be employed to threaten enemies up close before interrogating them for information on where the nearest Dunkin' Donuts is located. As usual, you can use CQC to dispatch of them. Just be sure to throw them into the wall like a PlayStation controller to ensure that they're knocked out for more than a minute.
If you are in close range and don't want to draw noise or suspicion from a professional hold up, the Water Pistol can be shot in the face of the enemy to disorient them for around three seconds. Timed correctly, you can continue spraying them in the face for more than a minute while yelling at them to stop jumping on the kitchen counter. Oh, right, we're talking about soldiers, not cats. Once you're ready to proceed to phase 2, you can CQC them and give them a noogie. They'll beg to join your forces at Mother Base after all the water torture.
Speaking of its disorienting effects, the Water Pistol can be used against several of the game's main bosses. Without spoiling anything, they hate water and won't be happy if you spray them with your Water Pistol before landing a well aimed shot on them.
On top of all these uses, the Water Pistol is one of the only infinite ammo options in the game. You will never have to supply drop a barrel of water. Instead, it magically recharges through the power of nanomachines every time you reload. This makes it the best weapon in the game for destroying land mines as you don't have to waste ammunition taking them out.
In a world ruled by bullets and tranquilizer darts, the Water Pistol shows us that a quick trip to Walmart could be the best tactical decision you ever make in your life. When it comes down to it, the Water Pistol is so well-rounded and effective that you can reasonably argue that it's better than the Wu Pistol's ranged tranquilizer darts. Super Soaker employees must be proud.
10 Weird Story Elements in Metal Gear
Top 10 Wierd and Outrageous Story Elements in the Metal Gear Solid Series
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Mr. Hot Coldman\'s Peace Walker Kills Itself
During Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker Big Boss learns that CIA Station Chief Hot Coldman—yes, that's his name—worked together with Dr. Strangelove to make a nuclear metal gear equipped with The Boss' A.I. Called Peace Walker, it was a remarkably dangerous creation that was made specifically to return nuclear fire in the event of an offensive attack.
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rnSoon after its deployment, Peace Walker is mistakenly given order to return nuclear fire. A moment before the A.I. fires its ICBM, potentially summoning nuclear war, The Boss' A.I. comes alive and forces the Peace Walker to drown itself in Lake Nicaragua. The event is shown as a reawakening of the legendary The Boss and her anti-war philosophy. -
Johnny Sasaki the Diarrhea Expert
Since the original Metal Gear Solid there's been a recurring appearance of a character who battles with bowel issues. Known as Johnny Sasaki, his first appearance was in Metal Gear Solid where he guarded the cell of Solid Snake. He would leave his post after experiencing a rush of diarrhea, opening up an opportunity for Snake to hide himself and escape. His name was only encountered later in the credits upon finishing the game.
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rnIn Metal Gear Solid 2 Johnny wasn't physically encountered, and instead made a cameo when the player was provided a directional microphone to detect Richard Ames' pacemaker. Johnny's bowel movements could be heard through the wall during this sequence.
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rnMetal Gear Solid: Snake Eater continued the ridiculousness as Johnny's Russian grandfather was met by Big Boss following his capture. To no surprise, he similarly battled diarrhea while guarding a cell block.
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rnIn Metal Gear Solid 4 Johnny Sasaki was not only made into a major character, but his face was seen for the first time ever. Solid Snake encounters Johnny while he's having a bowel movement under the disguise of a barrel. Interestingly enough, Johnny would fight alongside Solid Snake during the game, and eventually marry Meryl Silverburgh leaving the audience in pure disbelief. -
Illuminati Censorship
Throughout the Metal Gear Solid series a powerful organization comprised of wealthy individuals is mentioned. This world-controlling organization is made mysterious, bearing striking resemblance to what people in our real-world refer to as The Illuminati. It isn't until Metal Gear Solid 4 that the organization is featured front and center stage. rn rnDuring the course of Metal Gear Solid 4, the player regularly hears mention of a group with an obscure name. It turns out that when this name is heard, the person speaking is actually saying "The Patriots", the official name of the organization. However, thanks to nanomachine censorship, this is translated to "La-li-lu-le-lo" during communication. rn rnThe Patriots would later be revealed to be the support group of Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater including Sigint, Para-Medic, and Major Zero, once again reinforcing that Hideo Kojima likes to correlate everything in the franchise no matter how insane it is. -
MGS2 Simulation Reveal
Big Boss' appearance at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4 was arguably unnecessary. What isn't arguable is how ridiculous the things he had to say were.
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rnDuring his 10+ minute speech to Solid Snake in a graveyard, Big Boss would state that many of the events of Metal Gear Solid 2 were just a simulation and never actually took place. He would go on to explain that an A.I. created by Major Zero would try to assume control of the world, crafting alternate universes in the process. For those who didn't like Metal Gear Solid 2, it was a redeeming revelation. For everyone else, it was silly beyond belief. -
Nanomachines Explain Everything
Metal Gear Solid has employed various supernatural elements over the years. Given the series' commitment to a realistic world, these elements always stood out as something bizarre but explainable through natural means.
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rnFor example, in Metal Gear Solid 4 Solid Snake would encounter an antagonist named Vamp, an ex-member of Dead Cell capable of running on walls at blazing speed, and even standing on water. He would even recover from significant wounds out of nowhere, making him seemingly invincible.
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rnVamp, along with a large library of other supernatural elements in the series, would later be explained as the product of nanomachines, microscopic machines that would dwell in the bloodstream of individuals. It was such a ridiculous turn of events that it has remained common joke among gamers when discussing game elements that have no logical explanation. -
Quadruple Agents
Undercover operations were an extremely important part of Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater's storytelling. For one, The Boss' undercover defection from the U.S. to the Soviet Union was a major plot element, but it went much further from that.
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rnIt's revealed later into the story that Revolver Ocelot is a U.S. Agent who is, similar to The Boss, now working with the Soviet Union. However, he shows moments of being a double agent as he works in the Soviet Union's favor. Shortly after, he becomes a triple agent, and then eventually a quadruple agent. It's all a mess of complexity that ultimately does the iconic character a disservice.
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rnTo make matters worse, another character named Eva was similarly an undercover agent. Her motives are explained much more directly, but it's hard to dismiss the fact that Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater is overflowing with undercover agents. -
The Arm
There is, simply put, nothing as controversial as Liquid Snake's arm. Chopped off during battle, the arm was soon transplanted onto the one and only Revolver Ocelot. Throughout Metal Gear Solid 4 Revolver Ocelot is shown behaving remarkably similar to Liquid Snake, explained as nanomachines in the arm taking over Ocelot's body. It's a far-fetched explanation that confused many players. rn rnHowever, the story makes a quick left turn out of nowhere and reveals that Ocelot was never controlled by the arm, but rather Ocelot hypnotized himself to behave and sound like Liquid Snake. Supposedly, he did this in order to fool The Patriots into thinking he was actually controlled by Liquid Snake. If you can't make sense of it, then you aren't alone. This single piece of the story is considered by many Metal Gear fans to be the worst plot element in the series' over 28 years of history. -
Paz\'s Nether Parts Bomb
The story behind what Paz endured at the hands of Skullface prior to the events of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes was already way over the top. To give you an idea, she was apparently gangraped and beaten, among other things that could be regarded as worse.
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rnAt the end of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes she is rescued by Big Boss in a dangerous mission. Members on-board the escape helicopter quickly learn that she has a bomb in her abdomen. It is surgically removed before detonation, saving the crew. However, she soon reveals that there is another bomb, inferring that it's inside her private parts. She jumps out of the helicopter just in-time for the nether parts bomb not to cause instant-death to Big Boss and his team. However, the helicopter crashes due to structural damage, trigger the beginning of Big Boss' multi-year coma. -
MGS3\'s Supernatural Bosses
Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater's boss cast is regarded as one of the most consistently interesting in gaming history. However, that doesn't mean that their design is founded in reality. rn rnAmong the group of antagonists you have a guy who can control bees, another who produces electricity at will, a ghost, and an over 100 year old man who is better with a sniper rifle than anyone else in the world. It's got to be those nanomachines. -
Visible Codec Conversations
Codec conversations have been an important element of Metal Gear since its inception. In Metal Gear Solid 4 Liquid Snake demonstrates that people can see each other through the system when he changes costume to fool Solid Snake. Given that codec is supposed to be radio communication through an ear piece, it makes absolutely no sense.
