I Hope Resident Evil 7 Is Scarier Than This Trailer They Made

A few weeks ago, I wrote a guide to finding the courage to play Resident Evil 7, and today I'd like to add an addendum: watch the video above. If that is the level of scares we can expect from Capcom's rebirth of its beloved franchise, then you have nothing to be afraid of.

Anyone who has watched three horror movies in their lifetime can immediately identify every trope and scare set-up in this trailer, from a dragging axe on the ground to a blinking flashlight that reveals a scary person, and let's not forget the completely over-the-top screams and other loud noises that immediately follow each one of these. You know? Where the sound guy turns the volume up to 11 and just starts smashing his face on the soundboard? Scary stuff.

All sarcasm aside, this is elementary-school horror that only has a chance of scaring someone – well – in elementary school. The door closing at the end? The undead who decides to chase you conveniently just as you shined the light on him? Give me a break.

In fairness, I'm not sure how much if any of the same creative minds went into the creation of this live-action advertisement as the did into the game itself, so I'll shy away from saying this is an indicator of the kind of horror we'll get from Resident Evil 7, I just hope it's miles better than this.

This video was also created to promote their UK-only event "Resident Evil: The Experience," which will essentially let you participate in a real-life role-play/room-escape event where you have to get out of the Baker family house.

Still, though, they definitely aren't getting me hyped for an event that purportedly requires "nerves of steel." It seems nerves of tin foil will do just fine.