In a little under two months, nearly 2 million people will (allegedly) descend into the top secret Nevada base known as Area 51 in order to finally “see them aliens.” Though they’ll undoubtedly be a slew of extraterrestrials worth saving in the compound, video games have thought us that some are best left in their cages. The following are the aliens that Naruto runners, Kyles, Karens, and rock throwers should avoid when they raid Area 51 this September, lest they do more harm than good for our universe.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Giygas (EarthBound)
EarthBound‘s Giygas, otherwise known as the “Embodiment of Evil,” attempts to take over Earth after failing to reclaim the PKI abilities that his species gifted humanity many years ago. Pets begin attacking their owners, people become violent for no reason, and the entire world is blanketed in a thick sheet of darkness. Only the Chosen Four are able to take down the extraterrestrial, as they harness a special power together. Unless anyone out there knows where Ness and his friends may be residing on our planet, it’s best to leave Giygas deep within the confines of Area 51. Let’s save the apocalypse for another day. There’s a good chance that our cats already have something in mind anyway.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Crypto (Destroy All Humans!)
Destroy All Humans!‘s Crypto is a chipper Furon alien who derives great pleasure from vaporizing human beings. Though guns like the Dislocator and Ion Detonator must be fascinating to witness in action, few would volunteer to assist Crypto on his global rampage.
Instead, humanity should put the extraterrestrial’s weapons to good use in their everyday lives. The Disintegrator Ray could help us get rid of our garbage without walking to the bin, the Shrink Ray could help us clean some of those hard-to-reach places around the house, and the Black Hole Gun could finally help us find the whereabouts of our missing socks (unless we don’t find them in Area 51 first). Crypto’s gizmos should be a priority when we raid the compound, but the alien himself should be left inside his underground cell.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Necromorphs (Dead Space)
It may be hard to avoid Dead Space‘s Necromorphs when we raid Area 51 soon, as these reanimated corpses litter the ground and motionlessly lie in wait for their next meal. We should all agree to procure Plasma Cutters before diving deep into the base’s corridors, as these will help us sever some of the pointy limbs that get in our way. When it comes to bigger threats like Brutes and Leviathans, the Kyles and rock throwers should come together to unleash a barrage of Monster Energy-fueled attacks while the Naruto runners quickly speed past them in search of guns like Mjolnir and the Disemboweler for the rest of us to utilize. There’s no guarantee that we’ll encounter Necromorphs at all, but it’s always good to have a contingency plan.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Covenant (Halo)
The Covenant from the Halo franchise are made up of eight distinct alien species, each of which is hellbent on vanquishing the entire human race on behalf of the Halo Array and the Forerunners. Its high-ranking Sangheili elites and low-ranking Unggoy grunts can easily overwhelm us at Area 51 if we let our energy shields down, as their arsenal of futuristic weaponry, which includes such arms as the Needler, the Type-51 Carbine, and the Gravity Hammer, vastly overpowers our stash of canned beverages. It may be a good idea to have Master Chief’s cell number handy before September 20 arrives.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Typhon Mimics (Prey)
What makes Prey‘s Typhon Mimic species so annoying is its ability to shape-shift into pretty much any inanimate object in the universe. If these pesky little critters break out from Area 51, they could make our daily lives hell. Imagine leaving your phone at home because a Mimic shape-shifted into a lookalike, or losing an important work file when one’s computer reverts to its alien form. That’s not to mention that these things are extremely agile and can fit into extremely small spaces. Exterminators may see a resurgence in business if Mimics roam the Earth, but the rest of humankind won’t be too happy.
In other words, if we open up Area 51 and all we see is coffee cups, we’re screwed.
Area 51 Video Game Aliens | Metroids
Metroid‘s titular squishy species may seem cute at a glance. However, these infamous green blobs are known throughout the galaxy for attaching themselves to hosts in order to suck away their life energies. The husks that they leave behind resemble statues that, with the slightest touch, could disintegrate in a moment’s notice. If this characteristic isn’t enough to discourage Area 51 raiders from avoiding the extraterrestrial species, they should know that these creatures eventually take on monstrous, dinosaur-like forms. A sci-fi version of Jurassic Park sounds cool and all, but getting to the office in the morning will be tough with Zeta and Omega Metroids roaming around our neighborhoods.