Avatar Awards
| Unlockable | How to Unlock |
|---|---|
| Captain Smiley Giant Head (male or female) | Complete the whole game |
| Gerda T-Shirt (female only) | Complete the 1st Level |
| Star T-Shirt (male only) | Complete the 1st Level |
Achievements
| Achievement | Description |
|---|---|
| Brad's Savior and Best Friend (15) | Complete three sections of the third genre. |
| Collection of a True Fan (25) | Spend your hard-earned money and buy all the unlockables from Dr. Winklemeyer. |
| Eugene's Prote'ge' (20) | Play every reaction sequence mistake-free. |
| He Ain't Even Married (20) | Survive a specific section without getting hit. |
| Hero of the Silver Age (15) | Complete three sections of the second genre. |
| I Took Performance Enhancers (25) | Max out all of Captain Smiley's abilities. |
| Job Well Done, Faithful Reader (25) | Complete the game. |
| Neural Net Processors (10) | Destroy 25 of Brad's BradBots. |
| Pressed X a lot (10) | Earn some cash by talking to people in the base. |
| Shut Star Up (10) | Let your feelings guide you. |
| Two Stood Against Many (15) | Complete three sections of the first comic genre. |
| Violence Solves Everything (10) | Fire 125,000 total shots. |
