3 Long-Awaited RPGs Finally Coming to Non-Japanese 3DS

"Shut the fuck up," I told Nintendo, daring it to bring more amazing news out of the new Nintendo Direct. "No, Heath," Nintendo said as it leaned in with its beautiful dark eyes and sinister grin, "You shut the fuck up."

And so I did.

Dragon Quest VII (originally PSOne) and VIII (PS2) got 3DS versions a long time ago in Japan (three months ago for VIII, almost three years ago in the case of VII). Square Enix wrote a big advertorial for it here so I'll save you having to hear me mix up memories of my experiences from a decade ago with these games' original versions. That's what this shit is for. 

No release dates other than "2016," and this applies to both North America and Europe.

Bravely Second, meanwhile, is an original 3DS RPG which came out in Japan this past April. Square Enix didn't give enough of a fuck about it to bring it over themselves, perhaps in part because it knew Nintendo would jump in and save the day just like it did with Bravely Default. God bless Nintendo. Now drop that stupid region lock, you cavemen.

"Early 2016" is all we have in the way of a release date for that one.