Wario’s nipples

Wario’s missing nipples may be Nintendo’s scandal of the year

By Vitor Braz

In their relentless quest for the next controversy, Nintendo fans have already decided where to concentrate their energies. It may not be something as horrifying as the vision of Mario running around without a mustache, but Wario’s nipples are causing great consternation among the community.

Wario’s nipples – or lack thereof – in the latest trailer for the upcoming Nintendo Switch exclusive Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 are being scrutinized to death, with all kinds of distressed reactions.

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The trailer shows Silver proudly waving at the crowd on the podium, but it’s the sight of Dr. Robotnik (or Dr. Eggman, depending on where you live) and Wario that catches your attention. The shirtless duo isn’t exactly in top shape, but further inspection shows that poor Wario doesn’t have any nipples. Why is he cheering anyway, knowing of his inexplicable condition?

Naturally, this begs the question: why does Dr. Eggman have nipples, and poor old Wario doesn’t? Mario has nipples in Super Mario Odyssey, so why did Nintendo decided to remove them from his archnemesis Wario? Adding insult to injury, a bellybutton is nowhere to be seen, showing that he has no features on his torso.

The brief images from the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 trailer are being studied to death, in a mission to spot any sign pointing to the existence of Wario’s nipples. Between a collective meltdown or two, the Nintendo community is managing to come up with forensic proof supporting the theory that a couple of slightly shaded regions may represent Wario’s nipples, after all.

Skip to the 2:30 mark and let us know what you think. Is Wario really doomed to a meaningless life without nipples, or is Nintendo going to listen to the community and give him the nipples that he deserves?

Vitor Braz
Vitor Braz

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