Bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good. Review

Bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good.

I’m Run D.M.C, and it’s

like that. I’m L.L. when he couldn’t

live without his radio. I may not be a Fat Boy, but I’m a phat human

beat box. Pop-locking notwithstanding, I’m both old-school and an old fool,

and the undisputed

king of the beat. A huh-huh-huh!

Compared

to the wave of dance games that have succeeded it, the original PaRappa

is sort of old-school, too. I guess Sony figured it was time to pull a P. Diddy

and yank a smash from the past, inject it with a little new flavor and roll

around in the back of a limo sipping Crystal while endorsing the checks off

the back of a ho’s booty.

But while sampling has its place, PaRappa the Rapper 2 doesn’t quite

capture the hipness of its hip-hop history.

Part of what made the first PaRappa such a cool, kitschy game was its

totally ridiculous, hysterically weird story. Traveling the land looking for

‘something to believe in’ while learning how to rap from a menagerie of oddball

characters painted a great, funky picture. Plus, you had a rap-off while waiting

to use the can. How good is that?

This time around, though, seems like an attempt to be as strange as the original,

but only manages to be kinda dumb. Apparently all the food in town has turned

into noodles, and it’s up to PaRappa to save the day. Along the way, you’ll

meet a funky ant that sounds like Barry White, daydream about supposed girlfriend

Sunny Funny, and stare blankly as every food item turns into a gross patch of

bright yellow noodles. Our hero sets forth to straighten out this perplexing

pasta puzzle, the solution of which obviously involves…rapping.

Or rather, tapping. The gameplay in PaRappa 2 is identical to the gameplay

in the original. You rap against a collection of wacky masters and have to repeat

their rhymes by pressing the buttons in the right order and at the right time.

It’s a glorified version of Simon, though admittedly a helluva lot more

fun.

It’s also much easier. PaRappa 2 is very simple for anyone decent at

rhythm games and will likely be beaten in about an hour. The really tricky bit

about PaRappa is the leniency of the engine. Sometimes you’ll improv

a little and it will sound great to your ears, but you’ll get scored badly.

Likewise, sometimes you’ll screw up and get rewarded. It wasn’t a big deal in

the original since the whole idea was so new, but you can’t help but notice

that they haven’t fixed it much.

Or really done anything much at all, for that matter. PaRappa 2 is

in almost every way identical to its forbear. You still have to rap ‘good’,

else the music will change as you gradually rap ‘bad’. The more you improv,

the better your chances of moving into ‘cool’ territory. There are no new ‘moves’

or control changes. This makes it very easy to just hop right on and play, and

they’ve even included a Training mode for those new to the funk. Fans of the

original will likely be genuinely pleased with the fact that things are so familiar.

But how about doing something with the analog sticks, like letting PaRappa

scratch or mix beats at some point? A little thought in the gameplay department

would have done wonders. Instead, it’s just more of the same.

It

even looks the same, which is a bummer since we’re talking about the PS2 this

time around. The flat, pancake characters are back, and though they are notably

smoother than the PSX version, there’s only so much you can do with this kind

of graphical style. Still, the textures are blah and there are some noticeable

anti-aliasing problems. White

lines, go away!

One of the problems with the original was its brief gameplay time. You’d beat

the game, then do it again and again and again. The semi-sequel Um

Jammer Lammy added a new multiplayer mode to the mix, and now PaRappa

2 expands the series even more by adding Challenge modes as well as a slightly

longer story (8 stages as opposed to 6).

The challenge modes are a welcome addition, letting you and a friend or the

computer square off in a rapfest using one line. The trickier you get with that

one line, the more points you score. It’s a nice try, but the game just isn’t

all that much fun multiplayer since one of you is likely to be much, much better

than the other one.

But where PaRappa 2 really drops the mic is in its music. Who can forget

the funny, bizarre beats in the first game? Kick, Chop, It’s all in the mind!

Well, it’s also all in the past, as this game features bland, unmemorable beats

and lyrics. You don’t get anything close to the kick ass reggae dub of the flea

market scene in the original or Chop Chop Master Onion’s awesome intro (though

the master does return…as a romance therapist…ha…ha?) I beat the game

twice, yet I can’t remember one song as I sit here and write this review. This

is the kind of game that lives and dies by its catchy tunes, and in this case

it’s gasping for air.

So what you’re left with is a goofy, marginal game that’s still too short.

PaRappa 2 is like a rapper sampling his own songs. I suppose if you liked

the first one you’ll get a kick out of this, but it’s not worth the full price

benjamins, uh, yo.