Whats this!? The Caped Crusader on holiday!? Review

Whats this!? The Caped Crusader on holiday!?

Robin: Batman! I haven’t seen you in days. Have you been here in the BatCave this whole time?

Batman: Of course I have, Boy Wonder, I’ve been playing my new Playstation game, the Golden Nugget. It’s a casino and detective game all in one. I play the role of Steven Killsbourg, a poker playing ace. My ex-girlfriend is a scientist who invented a chaos chip, which can predict anything – the weather, earthquakes, card hands… She practically begged me to enter a poker tournament, so I could try to discover who stole her valuable chip. There are video clips along the way, so I can learn a little about all the suspects. Plus, I have an amazingly handsome actor named Adam West helping me along the way.

Robin: Holy royal flushes Batman!

Batman: No, I didn’t do that well, Dick. Those only come once, maybe twice in a lifetime. But they’ll be happening for one lucky person a lot more often, if I don’t find out who stole that chip. Look! Adam West just got back from a video sequence in his crimelab, and he has new information. I could save the world!

Robin: Holy washed out 1960s actor Batman! Didn’t I last see him as a guest on USA’s “Up all Night?”

Batman: Shut your trap, Boy Wonder.

Robin: Holy mind numbing boredom! You’ve been playing seven card stud for hours on end?

Batman: Far from it! This game offers sixteen different casino games. Everything you’d ever see in a casino, from blackjack, poker, and craps to Bacarat and Pai Gow Poker. They even have a Roulette Wheel and slots if you really want to push your luck. And for the senior citizen in you, there’s Keno.

Robin: Holy variety Batman! But what in the world is Bacarat?

Batman: I’m not quite sure, but I do know it involves me losing money. But that’s OK, I’ve already won thousands of dollars playing some of the simpler games. I’m considering purchasing a new Lay-z-Boy chair. Plus, if I get fifty thousand big ones, I’ll get invited to the VIP room. I heard they serve free drinks.

Robin: Holy ignoramus Batman! That’s not real money you’re winning, and you won’t get any alcohol. Its just a video game. Anyway, only a washed up television actor would be caught dead playing Keno for very long.

Batman: Not real money? No booze? That takes away all the fun from this game. There’s no fun in betting computer money that I can simply regenerate by saving and re-loading my game. At least there’s this great mystery, starring one of the world’s greatest actors, Adam West, for me to figure out.

Robin: Holy flashbacks, Batman! What kind of actor would sink to doing video games? And poorly programmed games at that.

Batman: I guess you’re right, Boy Wonder. The game play is a bit choppy. Also, its a quite hard to understand. I can never tell how much I’m betting. Plus, the game offers poor instructions for the non-experienced casino gamer. And though there are lot of games to choose from, they all get boring after just a few hands, now that I know its not real money.

Robin: So what happens once you solve the mystery? Do you score with your sexy ex-girlfriend?

Batman: I think you get to see a bunch of video clips – anything’s possible…

Robin: Holy unbridled lust Batman!

Batman: Settle down, Boy Wonder. It is rated for kids to adults.

Robin: Aw, shucks Batman. Well, can I play with you?

Batman: Sorry Robin, the programmers were too cheap to make the game multiplayer.

Robin: Holy unrealistic game Batman! Only one person can play in an entire casino?! How lame.

Batman: That’s the way the bat-cookie crumbles.